i was out with some friends last night and this particular topic actually came up and it had some interesting answers. so it kind of got me curious on what everyone here's answers might be and why.
Neither. I'd like to be recognised for what I am. If I'm feared, I won't have friends, only enemies. I'll have no one I can rely on, no one I can trust properly because I'll know they only act out of fear. If I'm loved, people will act without thinking, and I'll feel like I'm using people out of their love for me. It'll be like I'm driving them, controlling them. I'd rather be recognised for who and what I am.
Depends on which part of me you're asking, which one of my personality states.
To simplify, most of me would rather be loved. And to love.
Love meaning in the widest sense of being understood and respected and accepted and seen.
But the whole defensive business to survive with lack of love... has led to that part of me preferring to be feared, to keep people away and 'protect' myself. "Because love hurts, right?"
Last edited by Feel_Good_inc. : 22-07-2010 at 08:34 PM.
Don't be fooled by my smooth skin. The deepest scars are the ones unseen.
Remember compliments you received, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how..~ Baz Lurhman.
Letting it get to you - You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now that's all that counts. ~ Doctor Who "The Doctors Wife" 06.November.2011
This is interesting. The majority of people here are saying that they'd prefer to be feared. The majority of people here self harm or have self harmed in the past, and so have low self esteem and confidence. A lot may have been bullied, picked on or abused, which has put fear into them. Yet the majority here says that they would like to be feared so they cannot be (further) hurt.
I'm intrigued, if the same question was posted on a different type of forum, for example a horse forum (which my friend uses), would we get the same answers?
I would rather be loved. I just recognised that this subject was brought up in Alice in Wonderland.
I would have thought more people would have brought that up.
Don't be fooled by my smooth skin. The deepest scars are the ones unseen.
Remember compliments you received, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how..~ Baz Lurhman.
Letting it get to you - You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now that's all that counts. ~ Doctor Who "The Doctors Wife" 06.November.2011
I'd have thought more would prefer to be loved because of abuse/neglect, but I can see how people would rather be feared to prevent oneself from getting hurt.
Being feared and being loved are equally beneficial, so long as you're respected and, most importantly, not hated. If you're hated, you risk being done in eventually.
I think being feared can still mean you're loved, just mean that you're likely to be dishonest & be submissive & even lie because you're so scared of them. That I wouldn't want.
It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with.
Nous avons abrité tous les rêves du monde,
Et c'est dans le soleil que nous avons grandi.
i dont really know what it is to be loved... ¬_¬
i say feared simply because i think love requires much trust. and thats something i have very little-none of. *shrugs*
"It is better to be feared than be loved."
