Triggering (SI/Abuse) - What does being bipolar have to do with it?

bitomato · 14-07-2010, 04:28 AM

I am in a situation now where my bipolar is being identified as "special needs" and my self harm as suicide attempts. As a result I am expected to bring up past incidences of abuse to protect myself from being totally painted as a person who is not capable.

But I just want to move on. I don't want to bring up the past and I don't want to care what others think, but of course I do.

What are the laws that prevent people from bringing up your medical information in legal settings if it is irrelevant?

bleeding black · 14-07-2010, 04:35 AM

First it depends on your country/and or state, then also what the legal situation is.
Can you speak to a lawyer/solicitor? They would have the most information that is relevant to your situation.

bitomato · 16-07-2010, 04:35 AM

Unfortunately my location is very backward in terms of legal situation. So my lawyer doesn't actually see it the same way I do. At the end of the day, I am doing what I can to stay well because there is now no one to support me in my circumstances. Things as simple as the right to work and the right to privacy are not being respected- so I guess they come under human rights.....

Because I am concerned or differently opinionated- it is being considered part of my "mental condition" so I just try to do my own thing.

Can't even trust my psychologist with info about my selfharm as I don't know if it will be used against me in court. Really worried.

roiben · 16-07-2010, 12:57 PM

Are you able to explain a little more about what is going on for you - what is the situation in question?

Your psych for one should know that not all self harm is a suicide attempt, it is a cyclical coping mechanism that can become addictive in its use, not every form or attempt at self harm is a suicide attempt though and a proper medical professional should know this and be able to testify to that effect in court.

You have a right to privacy regardless of your mental health status. The only reason they may need to bring up your medical records, would be to discuss your bi-polar diagnosis so that they know what your ability to cope is. The fact is, many people with bi-polar which is under a reasonable level of controll are able to work without issue. However, there is a place in employment law that requires employers to make a reasonable adjustment for people who have disabilities. This is inclusive of some mental health issues, including depression and bi-polar disorder. This may be why you are being classed as 'special needs'. Although I agree that can be a horrible term to use, it is a means to ensure you are given adjustments in your working hours, conditions or contract that would enable you to work with just as much ability as anyone else. The idea of this is to be enabling, not to prevent you working.

Sorry for rambling at you - Hope it was of some help.

Roiben x

bitomato · 07-11-2010, 08:13 PM

Trying to be tidy in my venting.
Right now, I am not working and I am running the "family business" of sorts while waiting for things to get sorted out after my dad's death. I can't stop worrying about the future in terms of will there be money for my health and a couple days ago I got some advice which I am prepared to run with. I am thinking of giving up my inheritance so that I can just get as far away from my family as possible. I don't want to go through a lengthy court drama, I don't want to bring up the abuse from my past and I don't want to feel guilty that my dad obviously never loved me/ wasn't thinking about how I would get through life- he told everyone he thought I'd fail or struggle for the rest of my life and that everyone else would have to take care of me. He didn't give me a chance to run the family business when he was alive and was sure I would just sell my shares. As a result, he never protected my interests and he attached all this debt to my inheritance. So I either take the debt and pay it off for the rest of my life, talk about all my private business in court and fight to share the debt with the rest of the family, or pay off the debt and take what's left which might mean losing my home, my "job" which I turned out to be quite good at, and possibly have to turn to my selfish family if I ever get sick. At the moment, for the first time I have a chance to make decisions for myself and I am going to lose all of that because no one knows anything about mental health rights. Everyone just assumes I can take any medication once it's free and get any help once it's free...........I have paid for everything for 10 years and it has been working, so why change now?!

Some family want me to go to court which means I have to talk about the abuse I faced at the hands of my stepparent, but I don't want to delve into the past. They won't let me see my half-siblings without making me feel like a pariah, like I am some dangerous person because of my mental health issues, and it hurts me when she sends them to spend time with non family members some who used to be my friends/ aquaintances but I am not good enough. I get sooo angry. No one knows how confusing it is to be treated like this.

Being bipolar is just one aspect of me, but once I start to fight in the courts it could mean I will never be able to work because people gossip and it will come out in public. I understand my stepmother's fears because she is not a nice person and never has been towards me, but it rips my heart out to think my family is all broken up and all I have to do is give up the control I have over my life by giving all my inheritance to them so that they win.

I just don't know how much of a tailspin this will throw me into, because I never know when I am thinking straight or just feeling too overwhelmed by all the stress. What are my thoughts and what are my nightmares and where is my hope?

startingagain · 07-11-2010, 08:32 PM

Being Bipolar wouldn't stop you working. Rather than going to court can you not ask for mediation? It may be that people would rather settle out of court then pay for legal fees and have this drag on. Hope it works out for you.

bitomato · 07-11-2010, 09:22 PM

Hi Starting again,
Yes my mental health should be unrelated to my working, but one of the things that has greatly influenced my working is the ignorance of colleagues and patients about mental health. I have already had a traumatic experience at work where a colleague said something extremely untruthful about people with mental health issues, and I didn't know how to react I was so shocked so I locked myself in the bathroom and started to cry. I later lost my job after I had some mixed messages from telling my boss- but basically no one likes crazy people.

I accepted that I wasn't the right fit for that job so it wasn't the end of the world and went on to doing different jobs, but I would always get ill at some point. My new boss suggested I try a different career when I finally resigned........

At the end of the day, it has always been to my benefit for other people not to know my diagnosis as I have been discriminated against at school and at home and in the workplace. People are more honest about their prejudices and I have learnt not to take it personally. I am thinking of coming out next year and talking about my experiences but I don't know if I will do more damage to my professional career as I am only a newbie.

Because of the court case, my health carers don't know when I will be considered stable enough to do anything and they sometimes say things that I think are out of order if I forget my meds etc. Basically, I want to go into mental health but I don't think that I can get a job if people knew I had a mental health problem- why? Because of where I live and the lack of empowerment for service users.

I know that I am not thinking clearly all the time, but sometimes I get so mad that people leave me to act like I am normal and dump loads of responsibility on me- which would be great except I am not normal- I get overwhelmed and they get to stand at the side lines and say haha see I knew you'd fail.

bitomato · 07-11-2010, 09:27 PM

Taking my meds and going to counselling regularly helps. I was hoping to go back to school, but due to recent traumas and dramas that is not definite. I try to talk about my issues regularly, but things get bungled in my head and I really don't know what to do.

Recently- as in this week I just couldn't help feel overwhelmed because I am making good decisions but I am not finding support to follow through with them. Everyone has been so busy and I am getting really scared. I am afraid I am going to mess up and it is going to be too late. I am afraid to crash because everyone in my family is waiting like vultures for me to fail. But I am sooooooo tired.

startingagain · 07-11-2010, 09:45 PM

I understand discrimination as it happened to me. Not everyone is like that though. I hope that you find people worth working for.

It sounds like you could use some support at the moment and I hope you get it.

bitomato · 07-11-2010, 10:06 PM

Yeah my counsellor was pointing out to me that even if I felt better experimenting with my meds, I would have more to lose if I ever got too high or too depressed. I was trying to explain that the controlled feeling coupled with "normal grief" was starting to get unbearable for me.

I am still cutting and I feel like it doesn't matter how much I do right I am still going to fail because normal people don't do what I do. Even if those same normal people are bigotted and evil. At least they don't cut.

bitomato · 08-11-2010, 05:59 PM

I am monopolising the board a bit so I am logging off. actually not doing well at all and trying to distract myself- might try to go outside later, just sooooo tired. Don't forget me world.