Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Feeling 'mental'

foxfly · 11-07-2010, 10:33 PM

I do not feel good right now. I've been struggling with a couple of things.

1. ------------------------------

2. This had lead to all my symptoms suddenly becoming much, much worse. I can't sleep. I start crying all the time. I'm finding it very, very hard to cope in work. I'm becoming both distant and needy in my relationships. My psychotic symptoms and paranoia are pretty bad. I'm pretty sure people are reading my thoughs. I feel like everything is just going to get worse and worse.

I feel like everything is crashing in on itself. A big part of me wants to die.

What do you do when you feel really bad? I'm finding it so hard to function.
I do DBT and see my therapist regularly and that is helping but... I've got my DBT worksheets out and I'm looking at them but I don't know what to do with them. How do you make yourself function when you don't feel like you can cope at all?

Help. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I feel like screaming all the time.

PassedExpectations · 11-07-2010, 10:47 PM

what i've found helpful is to break stuff into really small steps, and have a really structured day... i'm not sure if that would help you but its all i can think of *hugs*

foxfly · 12-07-2010, 09:48 AM

Thanks. I guess my days aren't really that structured--I have to go to work, but I always end up late, and I don't always plan my days there that well, so it might be a good idea to make things into more manageable chunks.

At the moment everything feels impossible.

CagedBird · 12-07-2010, 10:09 PM

I wish I had an answer for you...my ways of coping aren't really that healthy. I suppose the one thing I try to do, although it isn't always easy, is to make people aware of how hard things are and get some more support. Do you have anyone you can call and talk to? I don't know the DBT therapy structure well but do they not allow you to call your therapist if it gets really bad? Doing it all by yourself is too much, you need other ppl too. Screaming on here helps too, i scream into the ether often on here or (more likely) in my diary. It isn't a solution but it distracts for a few minutes. Take care of yourself.

foxfly · 13-07-2010, 03:50 PM

Thank you, CagedBird. I don't know what to do really. I had DBT today, but it wasn't that helpful. I've got therapy tomorrow. I don't know, I feel like I'm sick of trying so hard and not getting anywhere. I don't know what to do with myself. I've been screaming in my diary a lot. It feels like everything is crashing in all around me.

CagedBird · 13-07-2010, 10:22 PM

I hear you. It sounds as though everything has become a hell of a lot harder since all the changes have happened in your life. Change is hard, and safety is difficult because we have the opportunity to feel and that can be overwhelming and so scary. Sometimes I think my emotions will kill me because they are so big, I honestly cannot understand why I don't explode! I understand what you mean about being sick of trying, there are many times when I am so tired of trying and get so angry at people for expecting me to cope when I feel I can't.
Is there anyway you can get some more therapy sessions over the next few weeks? Keep reaching out for support on here, in therapy, and through support helplines. Maybe that can be your scaffolding which can protect you whilst everything feels as though it is crashing around you.

nicole94 · 14-07-2010, 09:29 PM

i also do DBT and am feeling really stressed right now, im trying ice diving for the first time, have you tried it yet? maybe it would help?