It's occured to me many times, that i don't know who i am as a person. I find this confusing. I don't feel ready to be "an adult" although clearly i am, and in most ways, i am very mature and wise- given my life experience.
I portray a very able, intelligent, confident woman to work collegues, family etc but inside i just feel like a teenager scared of growing up, feeling shy, unconfident and low self-esteem. Sometime when i realise i'm in my 30's it's like "****, i'm not ready!"
yes, very much! I have a good career and responsible job, and (I think) am good at seeming mature and in control, but inside and in non-work situations I have practically no confidence. I feel as if I have been left behind and will never be able to catch up, partly because I've lost so much time, but also because once you're in your 30s you don't get opportuities to 'practice', you're supposed to be able to 'do' it
Tokoloshe- that's exactly what i feel! Like i've lost time, when i should have been practicising being an adult i was actually trying to just survive.
true for me as well.
work is easier as its easier to put on a front, but mostly i cant believe im in my 30s and sometimes would really like to be able to hide awa again as it can be so difficult sometimes just making small talk with people.
for delicate were the moths and badly wanted
here in a world by mammoth figures haunted!
i'm in the same boat, there are two very different sides to me - there's the confident and happy-go-lucky one, who my workmates and my few friends see. but most of the time i'm an emotional and developmental shambles.
I think work is easier because I know how I should try & act and do, I have a role to play like an actor, when it comes down to 'just being me' I have problems
I can relate totally to that. The more of the competancy act i put on the further removed form myself i can feel at times.
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
I'll be 30 next year, does that count? I still feel like a teenager or somebody in there early 20's, i forget that time is ticking by. Some people have achieved so much by my age and i feel left in the doldrums, guess i've just had lots of bad cards dealt.
hmmmm, comforting to know I'm not alone in this thinking. I have friends in their early 40's [I am just 40] and I think they are sooo much older than me. I really don't feel like i've grown up, and feel like a teenager particularly with some of the things I do to myself.
For me its a bit about feeling vulnerable and wanting someone to look after me and love me, and as I never really got that as a kid I'm still looking.
Work is good, I also have a responsible management position and I am a different person there. Would just be good to know who I really was!
thanks for all your replies. At least we are not alone in feeling like this.
I feel like i've lost a chunk of my life maybe about 12-13 years. How do you even begin to recover those years when time is ticking away reminding you that you'll never get them back?
I sometimes feel i'm going to like an 18 year old in my 30's and 40's. Not so much matuarity wise- i have that in abundance (too much sometimes lol) but just that i'm only now getting my **** together education wise, starting to have goals career wise, learning to drive, holidays, etc. Having children terrifies me and i'm so not ready for it, yet i feel like i better hurry up before nature makes the decision for me.
Candy Tetris
Mahjong
Othello
Mumu
