Ok so I've just come back from the most amazing 2 weeks volunteering at an orphanage. Every moment of it was fantastic. But I now feel like **** all because when I was checking in for our connecting flight home the women asked me to take my cardigan thing off and off course I wasn't wearing long sleeves. I didn't kick up a fuss or anything cos i figured that would draw attention too it, but now after almost a year i want to cut again all because that women made me show my arms for the first time in public.
I don't think any of the people I was with saw/noticed (if they did they didn't say anything)
I can't believe that my mood could be altered so dramatically by some thing so stupid
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Harriet Tubman
It's not stupid at all, I would of found that extremely scary and probably would of refused. Please don't let the women get to you. If you feel triggered, please try using distractions. You can get through this. Stay strong.
i don't think it's stupid to be triggered by that. i was triggered when i showed one person my arms and that was my own choice. i guess it's even more horrible when you have to do it, and it's unexpected. why do you think having your scars visible triggered you?
Thanks for your replies! I think it triggered me because it was such a public place and there was 14 people that I knew (none of them know about the s/h) If any of them saw it they didn't say anything to me.
Also I just feel stupid for not thinking about the possibility of it happening and not wearing long sleeves.
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Harriet Tubman
Hi same thing happened to me once, I cant remember where I was flying to/from, it was a few years ago but I felt exactly the same as you. I think its cos its completely out of our control and you have to and well I just felt exposed...
not helpful sorry, except I completely understand where youre coming from. Well done on it being a year free though, that is amazing - can you concentrate on that? At least they were scars and not cuts?
Also the orphanage sounds amazing too, try and focus on your experience there, not some silly woman on a power kick!
Hey, don't feel stupid - it's a completely normal thing to get freaked by. But instead of looking at the negatives, try to pick up on the positives - you're past this now, you've got to the point where they are scars and not cuts. Who cares if you were showing off your scars - they are a part of who you were, not a part of who you are now, although they contributed to the strong person you are now. And - it's liberating. You don't have to worry about wearing long sleeves all the time - you can celebrate summer and wear whatever you'd like to wear.
It's a perfectly reasonable request on her part, and she wasn't to know that you had anything to hide - but ask yourself, why are you hiding your scars? What is it about them that makes you feel bad, or makes you feel as though you should hide them? You're free from SI, you've had a year now - celebrate that fact, instead of being ashamed of the fact that you used to do it.
Thankyou for all your kind words! They made me take it off cos she obviously thought it was a jacket.
I think i just freaked cos there was no one with me who knew about it and i'm still not at the stage where im comfortable showing it in public...i don't even feel comfortable showing them at home since my sister moved in
Maybe one day i'll feel better about it
Again thanks for all your msgs!
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Harriet Tubman
it isnt stupid at all to feel upset about it
*hugs*
also, may i say well done on showing your arms despite not wanting to.
and then not going over the edge after it.
that shows strength x
