I appologise if there is already a designated thread for this, but i tried a forum search and it didn't come up with anything, so here goes.
Those of you who have read about me in my last year or so membership on RYL will know i have always had Anxiety problems for over 10 years. However, more recently i have been seeing a therapist/psychologist and for the first time since the problems began she gave me a proper diagnosis after two sessions of interview/analysis.
She told me that she believed i was suffering from OCD, Social Anxiety, post traumatic stress and depression.
Now i can accept 3 of those... but OCD? i wasn't really expecting her to say that. i guess i was a bit taken back.
I then went home and read the Wikipedia article about OCD. When reading it, i almost burst into tears because it was like somebody could of just written my name at the top of the page. I think me and my boyfriend were a little bit naive in the sense that we both though OCD was a condition that just caused people to wash their hands alot or disliked germs, but after her talking about it, i realise that alot of the things i read about happen to me.
The problem with me is i have bad thoughts that appear out of no where. mainly 'i'm going to die at some point' and 'you're going to be attacked' or 'the house is going to be robbed/broken in to', which causes me great distress to the point of panic. I also have an irrational fear that my possessions are going to get lost or stolen. I constantly check my bag getting off a bus/train/leaving the house, and checking the locks/windows on my door before i leave the house is a total nightmare. Sometimes i will even get half way down the road and still have to go home and check i have locked the door. I check my phone and purse are in my locker at work constantly. I will constantly plan my journey to make sure i do not go into any wooded areas/fields by myself because of an irrational fear i will find a dead body (i have never found one...) I constantly tweezer hairs out of my body for some reason when i am feeling quite stressed out. I have self injured for many years, but have been free for the past 3 years or so. I like to think of the two things as seperate, so that one does not cause the other.
I did not realise this was OCD, and to be honest i was a little bit baffled by it all. I guess to be honest i would really like some other people with OCD to talk too. I don't really know that much about the condition, even though it's possible i have been suffering from it for years.
What sort of treatment have you had for it, and if you have had some, what things have you found usefull? The therapist seems like a very nice lady and seems like somebody who i could try and work with. She mentioned cognitive behavioural therapy, and although i have had something like this before, i'm not sure if it will work or not to stop these awful thoughts happening.
Anyway, if you're out there, i would really appreciate knowing i'm not by myself, especially with something i don't really understand!
~*~ Proud Cat Owner ~*~
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo Da Vinci
I'm an OCD sufferer (among other things) so you are definately not alone **hugs**
"John, being brave is going where no man has gone before and with Lizzy Stark, that is NOT what you'll be doing!" - Aunt Polly.
“I told him I was going to betray you, and betray Lyra, and he believed me because I was corrupt and full of wickedness; he looked so deep I felt sure he'd see the truth. But I lied too well. I was lying with every nerve and fiber and everything I'd ever done...I wanted him to find no good in me, and he didn't. There is none.”
Reading through your post, I notice you mentioned pulling hairs out with a tweezer? For a few years now I've been pulling out my hair but I thought that was something called trichotillomania... is that a part of OCD?
I think I may have a touch of it. But I do the same sort of things everyone else does whether they have OCD or not... funny thing about even numbers and the number 5 (volume or taking sips of drinks, chewing before i swallow etc) and I get edgy unless things are done the way I want (but maybe this is just me being overly dominant and bossy?). Also at work I wash my hands and use sanitizer a lot, but this is because I went on a food health and safety course and ever since I've been worried that if anything were to happen to a customer it could come back to me.
Anyway, I haven't mentioned any of this to my doctor. It seems insignificant until you group it all together. I think the problem with my being a member of RYL is that it's turning me into a bit of a hypochondriac haha...
Forget your perfect offering
There's a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
Leonard Cohen
hey... i've had OCD for years too (maybe not as long, cause i'm only 17), but at least for about half my life. got really bad social and generalized anxiety as well and some depression. this year i spent from the beginning of april til almost the end of june in a residencial center in wisconsin, for the said disorders... i got sooooo much better there... i've come back and had lots of people say that its like i'm a different person, the ones who known me all my life said i haven't been this happy or social since about first grade... so yeah, it definately is treatable.
I did CBT, specifically EX/RP (exposure/response prevention) and if done in the right way, and if you work hard, it will have a major effect. I'm not going to list all my obsessions and compulsions, it would take too long... i'll just say that i went from extreme (worst category and ritualizing constantly) to just a few points above subclinical... and my social anxiety is about a third of what it was (i could barely talk out loud in school before rogers).
i can tell you a TON more if you want to talk, just pm me and ask anything you want... i can basically explain everything about ocd and its treatment (my doctors had me do a presentation for my parents, so i've got it all down).
*hugs* you can definately work this out
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I've had therapy for my OCD & I've also tried some techniques outside of professional help to cope with my OCD.
One very good technique I was taught on another anxiety disorder forum was the more you give in to the compulsions / the more you get anxious/distressed etc over the obsessive/intrusive thoughts, the more fuel you're giving to OCD - in turn, this will make it more severe & more distressing. In regards to compulsions, try & gradually reduce it. In regards to obsessions/intrusive thoughts, try & take it lightly, ie; say you're getting a distressing thought about harming someone else, you could say inside "I know you're just OCD, & I'm not going to let you get to me today, I know I would never do something like that, & it's just you trying to distress me, but it's not going to work." It has helped alot for me to take it lightly & try to let it go over my head. If you want to know more about this technique, I could PM you with information about it - but that's only if you want to know. If not, that's okay too. :)
OCD is a very common disorder, myself & as you can see already, people here suffer from it too. It's a very difficult & distressing disorder to cope with, but rest assured you're not alone, and there are treatments out there than can help you. One very good treatment for OCD is exposure and response prevention (ERP). This might be something you could discuss with your psych.
Don't give up hope on being able to cope with this disorder & for it to get better - it can get better. My OCD has gotten better compared to how it used to be, I never thought it could, but it really can.
Please do keep posting about this & your other difficulties if you feel you would like to. We're here for you.
Reading through your post, I notice you mentioned pulling hairs out with a tweezer? For a few years now I've been pulling out my hair but I thought that was something called trichotillomania... is that a part of OCD?
I think I may have a touch of it. But I do the same sort of things everyone else does whether they have OCD or not... funny thing about even numbers and the number 5 (volume or taking sips of drinks, chewing before i swallow etc) and I get edgy unless things are done the way I want (but maybe this is just me being overly dominant and bossy?). Also at work I wash my hands and use sanitizer a lot, but this is because I went on a food health and safety course and ever since I've been worried that if anything were to happen to a customer it could come back to me.
Anyway, I haven't mentioned any of this to my doctor. It seems insignificant until you group it all together. I think the problem with my being a member of RYL is that it's turning me into a bit of a hypochondriac haha...
Trich is sometimes associated with ocd, yes indeed. When people do it out stress, anxiety or prevention of bad things from happening, it's considered a form of ocd. But trich is also associated with toruettes and tick disorders, because sometimes people do it just because they HAVE to, not because it's exactly an anxiety thing. More like a tick rather than a compulsion.
And I have OCD smyptoms, but not a diagnosis. Touching (my nose mostly), eyebrow pulling, avoids cracks on the sidewalk, checking the mail box to insure there are no bills, tapping, and hand washing. When I hand wash I dry off the soap dispenser. Weird huh?
Pulling out hairs on my body with tweezers is just something i seem to find myself doing. I've never really identified this as a symptom of OCD, but in the last few years it has actually made me late for things because i'm too busy pulling out hairs. I never touch the hair on my head. It's wierd.
Another thing i found is that i have a severe aversion to dates and catastrophe theories. They severely distress me.
Thanks so much for replying, all of you. I guess the first step to trying to recover is trying to understand what you have in the first place. i just feel like a bit of a freak at the moment.
Today i have spent all morning tidying up the garden and the house. I felt so sick, but had to keep doing it because i couldn't relax until i had finished and it was in the condition i wanted it to be in. I really wish i could just stop when i get tired, rather than keep going until it's finished. Even my boyfriend tried to get me to stop because he could see how tired and frustrated i was getting. I hate upsetting him almost as much as i hate being ill.
~*~ Proud Cat Owner ~*~
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo Da Vinci
by the way, Brokenblossom, i tried to PM you about the techniques you were talking about, but it says you have chosen not to receive private messages, so i can't lol.
~*~ Proud Cat Owner ~*~
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo Da Vinci
I logged in today pretty much with the intention of starting this thread :D So no, you're not alone.
I was hoping (perhaps hoping isn't quite the right word) to find some fellow sufferers here, as it's something that quite literally crippled me for a long time, and it's something I feel is still rather misunderstood and stigmatized even within the wider mental health community.
If you ever want to talk more privately, I'm only a PM away :) or could this perhaps be turned into a kind of drop-in thread like some of the others on here? I do hope so as I've secretly hoped for such a thread!
nuclearnight I'm really glad that this could be the start of something good, and that we both had the same intentions! I would love to meet some fellow sufferers too. I guess i'm just feeling a bit by myself at the moment. I've recently been looking for some support groups in my area. There's several for depression and Bipolar disorder, but nothing for anxiety and OCD (lol, the anxiety sufferers are probably too scared to go to a group meeting. sorry, i'm just trying to laugh at myself.)
[Emma] I don't think my checking is based on a particular number i just have to check it alot of times. For example, if i shut my locker door and lock it, i still have to go back a few times, and unlock it, and relock it to make sure it's toally locked. It's just so frustrating, i can never check it just once and leave it. I wish i could understand a bit more what other people go through with this disorder.
~*~ Proud Cat Owner ~*~
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo Da Vinci
I have OCD too, and recently it's just been taking over :(
I constantly check my bags for things, even though I know they're in there. I get nervous if I don't check. The other day I even got out of the shower to check something was still in my bag and then got back in! I couldn't have stayed in the shower.. I needed to check it. I hold my bag close to me in shops and on buses etc. I have a fear that it's going to be stolen or something is going to fall out and I won't see it. I check seats and the surrounding area before I leave anywhere.
I don't like odd numbers. I have a feeling that if I do something on an odd number something bad will happen. I can't have the TV volume on an odd number, I can't leave the house on an odd number, I can't log off on an odd number, I can't do anything on an odd number. Saying that, I don't mind '5' and multiples of 5.
Sometimes when my OCD gets bad, I have to pick up a glass a certain amount of times before I can drink it, or flick a light switch a certain amount of times. I haven't done this in quite a while though, but I did get in trouble at my church for 'playing with the lights' when I did do it!
I can't stand things out of place. Piles of books or CD's have to be straightened up and look neat. I like places that look neat. I tend to go into shops and rearrange things if I'm stuck looking at something messy in an isle for too long. I hate when things are stacked in a messy way!
I have to know whats happening during the day and I need to know times. I get nervous if I don't know the exact time someone is coming home or something is happening. I can't function properly through the day if someone doesn't set me down and tell me exactly whats happening to a pin point, or if I don't sit and arrange it myself. It makes me really nervous, I don't like the feeling of not knowing whats happening.
I'm sure there's a lot more, but I think I've ranted enough for now xD
oh god... checking my bag, thinking i may have lost something that belongs to me. Unzipping the zip several times to check it's inside even though the bag is sitting on your lap, checking your seat before/after/during when you get up.... i totally get where you're coming from!
~*~ Proud Cat Owner ~*~
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo Da Vinci
does it bother anyone else when someone without ocd, that just likes being neat or something, is saying "oh, i'm so ocd"... sometimes i just want to shake them and say "no you're not, don't trivialize what people are going through"... of course i don't actually do that, but it does get on my nerves...
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I do think that the term OCD is used far too easily, but at the same time i have used the term in a trivial manner myself before being diagnosed with it. I guess the key is understanding for everybody.
~*~ Proud Cat Owner ~*~
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo Da Vinci
Hello, I've suffered from OCD for a few years now, and I'm really glad you started this thread. I hate having OCD, after I get my paycheck, I see the amount of money. I put it in the bank, I should know that money's in there. But I cannot spend money unless I've checked it at least 3 times that day, I just don't feel right if I haven't checked. I refuse to spend anything even though I know I have money, but I don't at the same time. Sorry I don't make a lot of sense =(
I went for a long time not knowing this was OCD, I finally got diagnosed, and it makes a little bit more sense.
nuclearnight I'm really glad that this could be the start of something good, and that we both had the same intentions! I would love to meet some fellow sufferers too. I guess i'm just feeling a bit by myself at the moment. I've recently been looking for some support groups in my area. There's several for depression and Bipolar disorder, but nothing for anxiety and OCD (lol, the anxiety sufferers are probably too scared to go to a group meeting. sorry, i'm just trying to laugh at myself.)
That's too bad, there actually was a support group near me, but they closed it down just as I'd plucked up the courage!
If you're in the UK, OCD-UK may be of some help, I don't know if you've checked there?
does it bother anyone else when someone without ocd, that just likes being neat or something, is saying "oh, i'm so ocd"... sometimes i just want to shake them and say "no you're not, don't trivialize what people are going through"... of course i don't actually do that, but it does get on my nerves...
