I understand how upsetting it must be to look at yourself, see those scars, and feel yourself falling right back into that frame of mind. But those scars aren't anything to be ashamed of. Every one is a reminder that you're resourceful, self-sufficient and strong. After all, self-harm is a dead-end coping mechanism, but it takes guts to inflict actual harm on your own body. You have to be strong to break the cultural taboos and repeated warnings you receive as a kid against doing exactly that kind of thing. You have to want to help yourself so bad you'll do something that extreme in order to reach even temporary level.
I'm not celebrating self-harm at all; you of all people are well aware that it's addictive, destructive, and defeating. That's what you're posting about, kind of, isn't it? But there's also no reason to be ashamed of it. You didn't do anything irredeemably wrong; you saw an array of choices, and you made one, so now you're dealing with the consequences as best you can. Those scars stand for that decision. It might not have been great, but you're dealing with it, and growing from it. I say what's worth celebrating is the guts, ingenuity and tenacity it takes some of us just to get by.
Whether you try treatments, or cover them up, is up to you. But even if you cover them up, you'll still have the memories; this part of your life is always going to be with you. So you might as well decide how you want to own it.
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