a few months ago my mom lost her job, it's a long story but basically she got fired and totally didn't deserve it and now, seeing as she's 63, is essentially retired.
in may i graduated university and after a quick family vacation started my summer job. the last time i lived at home for more than 2 weeks, was 2 summers ago when i spent 3 months living at home because i was unable to find a job.
in august i'm now moving back home to take care of my mom. it's not that she's too old and needs help getting around or anything like that, but she's SO DEPRESSED right now. she's called me and sent me emails that are just the saddest things ever. and we're not a family that talks about things, so for her to tell me how hurt and lonely she is, is a huge deal. she's not sleeping and she's crying a lot and stress eating, it's just so not like the woman i know. i'm coming home to help her find her new self, to take a cooking class with her, and help her find a job and just to be there while my dad works crazy long hours and she's all alone.
but i'm too young for this, i'm 23 and trying to take care of my mom and put her back together. i didn't realize how much this was startign to stress me out and effect me, until last night when i almost kinda tried to cut. i haven't cut in 7 months and i'm not starting again. i'm fine now, it just really scared me.
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles" ~Charlie Chaplin
It's really lovely that you want to look after your mum like this, she is lucky to have you. However first and foremost you need to make sure you look after your own needs. Maybe you could also suggest your mum go to the doctors to get treatment for her depression. You can be there to support her but in the end she has to be the one that pulls herself through this. I hope this doesn't sound too harsh as that is not my intention. Take care
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Have to echo, Kat in this. Yes, you can help...but she needs to helps herself too.
Maybe best to help her ctc her doc to get an appt, and go with heh, so that if she tries to 'downplay' things, you can steer it right?
Its a fine balance...dont overlook yourself in it.
Good luck.
Pls let us know ho wit goes ok?
xxx
You're definitely not alone in this ... There are a lot of people now who are hVing to help out their parents. But I agree with everyone else - your health is just as important.
You say that your family doesn't really talk about things. Do you think that maybe starting a diologue with your mom about her feelings and how she's doing would help? Also, maybe having like a "Family Destressing" night would be beneficial - just staying in and watching a movie or playing cards or a board game or something like that? Sometimes it's the little things like that that end up making a big difference.
Good luck, I know it's stressful and hard, but i'm sending you positive vibes and well-wishes! *hug*
"And I know it aches, and your heart it breaks,
You can only take so much
Walk on..."
I feel for you. The week before I graduated high school (May of 2007) my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. Needing chemo and radiation daily (the cancer center was an hour away) Since her kids all had steady jobs and family's of their own to support, I was the one that took her. Her cancer appears to be gone but she now has numerous other healthy problems and I'm still the one taking care of her.
Hang in there!!
I get it. If you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me.
'Is this a bad dream or the best dream that I've ever had? What is waiting beyond the mirror, beyond the curtain, beyond what fades into the black...' -Chely Wright
**hugs** It's a real hard situation you are in. You are as you say, too young to be dealing with this but want to help your mum. It may drag you down which will be hard to deal with too (if you are like me anyway). Is it possible to get her outside help?
"John, being brave is going where no man has gone before and with Lizzy Stark, that is NOT what you'll be doing!" - Aunt Polly.
“I told him I was going to betray you, and betray Lyra, and he believed me because I was corrupt and full of wickedness; he looked so deep I felt sure he'd see the truth. But I lied too well. I was lying with every nerve and fiber and everything I'd ever done...I wanted him to find no good in me, and he didn't. There is none.”
