Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - Is it just me?

[ashlee_118]

Hey guys i have only just realised that people that have known about the abuse i have been through class everything that happens from just kissing to sexual assult as all being bad. to me i can rank what is worse to have happen i have a list of things that i pass over and go thats not really bad to oh wow thats the worst, but other that havent been through it class everything the same.

sorry for rambling i was just wondering if other people class everything as bad and wrong of you can actually list whats worse then others?
thanks Ashlee

well i think when you've been through it, you know whats personally affected you the most notably. you're gonna be able to rank it as "x event made me feel worse than y event". But there's also an objectivity that people who haven't been through it have. Them telling you its all wrong is very true. And the thing is, you might find someone who has been through very similar stuff as you, and they might class completely different things as affecting them "worse". The thing is, all abuse is bad and it affects everyone differently. So I think it's good to know what has hurt you the most and what triggers you the worst, but it's also true that abuse can't be ranked as worse or less worse really cause it affects everyone so differently.

[onepapergirl]

^that's sort of what I was thinking too.

I know some abuse has effected me a lot worse than other. I don't think my experience is a "rule" for all abuse though, since everyone is effected differently.

[ashlee_118]

thanks for the replys, i know not everyone reacts the same but it was just something i noticed that when we spoke about it at uni in general just said it was all wrong but i was thinking well i can hendle this but not futher and id pray that some nites it would be minor things i guess the big thing was i felt alone in that i had levels that i could handle and deal with where everyone else considered everything from a simple kiss on the cheek to sex to be one big group of things and id think no a kiss is nothin compared to sex... sorry im just trying to make sense of somethings and feel that no one gets it.

[kylebaumgardner]

yeah I wish I had some one to fall asleep with me at night cuz I have to do things to get to sleep and stay asleep and its not drugs!!!

[Katiee]

I think it differs to everyone, personally.
Some people think everything bad they've gone through is really awful, while some thinks they're past isn't about bad compared to what else they've been through, if that makes sense?

yeah i think it also depends if the abuse is ongoing or a less frequent thing. i think with ongoing abuse you have to take some things as "less" just for the sake of survival and being able to handle it over a period of time. Also when it becomes your life it makes it more difficult to class everything as "bad" I think cause you don't want all of your life going on to be bad. Whereas if the abuse is not as often or not with someone you constantly see I think its more comfortable to label it as all traumatic rather than rating it cause its not the entirety so much. Neither means anyone is more or less validated, that's just what i've noticed with myself. Also people who haven't been through it realize that it all is bad, I think when we've been through it we tend to minimize some things that are still wrong in an attempt to again survive and lessen how much pain we feel whereas someone on the outside can see how wrong it happening was, all of it.