I had the same thought as Roiben when I saw this post: you'll always have yourself to live for. Please try to examine what's making you feel this way and try to figure out some good traits about yourself. What are your talents? Can't you make something out of that?
xxx
RYL FAMILY
Jo (Newlife) is my daughter
Kat (Katnovia) is my sister
I have none. I thought I did, but I don't. As was so kindly pointed out to me. Everything I thought I was good at I'm not and without those things I have no dreams, nothing to live for. Everything I stay for is being taken and I no longer give a shit.
You do have stuff to live for. Just because other people say you're not good at anything doesn't mean anything. They're probably just jealous because you can do something they can't.
What was it, you considered a talent and who was it that trampled over your self-esteem and told you otherwise?
I have a long held belief that there are no people in the world that do not have some kind of talent or ability. Everyone is born unique and that uniqueness is the very fact that they have something they can do, which another can not.
Irrespective of whether someone else thinks you are good, or not; what do you enjoy doing? What do you get excited about and what makes you tick?
If you are worried about how good you are - Can you aspire to be better? Are there any courses you could join to look to learn new skills in that area?
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
I love to write. More than I can ever explain. I thought I was good at it. Some stranger proved me wrong. It's not just that though. No one believes in me. About anything. I love English and want to be an English teacher/writer if I ever grow up, but my family are unsupportive and don't believe in me at all. Just about the only person who does, who makes me feel like I am worth something is my English teacher, but she's leaving me too and I can't cope anymore.
Writing is a fantastic talent to nurture. One of the down-sides though is that writing will always have critique. The most popular books in the world will always have those that are not as behind it as they may have been. Please, do not let your family, or the thoughts of one individua put you of. If it is something that excites and drives you then go for it.
Writing is a constant process, not just in one work, but in the works of a lifetime of writing. It is one of the things you will find in studying writers - Look at just how often the focus is upon the development of the writer over time. The changes in processes and the way they view the world. Even within one work, there are many adaptions. Wordsworth's Prelude went through at least three adaptations, and many believe the last one was an over-working of a better text, in some cases to its detriment...
My point is, do not let go of this just yet. Keep at it, and you may find the support you need is out there. Maybe post some of your writings on to the creative forum here, to get some more feedback? Try not to give up and keep fighting. You never know, you may prove the stranger wrong.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
I don't plan to give it up. I annoyed the person who was slagging off my writing by correcting the grammar in thier comment. But that's not what all this is about, not really. It was just the final straw. I know there will be critiques, and I am prepared for that, but it's just one thing after another. Nothing in my life can stay good, something always comes along and spoils is and I don't know how much more I can take. I didn't kill myself last night (obviously) but I did cut for the first time in weeks and I don't even regret it. I just don't care anymore.
See your post earlier, "I don't plan to give up". That is your fight. Now, what you need to do is grab hold of it and let it burn brightly. That is the part of you that wants to keep going, that wants to write and develop.
I know things can be difficult and by no means do I intend to imply that fighting is easy - You do have the strength for it though. I can see that, even if you can not right now. However many things may go wrong, you also need to focus on the pile of things that can and do go right. Your writing is a good starting point for this. Yay you for being able to pull that stranger down from their pedestal - I bet that left you with a good feeling?
You can do this. Keep going. Keep writing here and contact a Dr or someone external to let them know what is going on for you so that they can also put support in place for you.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
I have nothing to live for anymore.
