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nightmares and dreamscapes
I woke up at 3 am screaming this morning. When I realized what happened, I started crying. My sister robin got in a car accident and died. I saw it happen. I cant get the thoughts out of my mind. I know it was all dreams, but it scares me to death thinking of losing family and friends again.
Another dream I had was Marie telling me to **** off and drop dead cos of the past. She doesnt want anything to do with me anymore cos of whatever happened in the past. She thinks I'm the same I used to be. But, I'm not. I don't shoot speed or heroin anymore. But she says she doesn't want anything to do with me for whatever reason. Such as life. Oh well. One less person I have to deal with in the future. I'd just like to see how her kids are doing. But, I can't even get a hello out of her. I had a nightmare with her in it. Don't remember it totally, but I do remember what all the dream was about.
I hate the fact that I cant control anything anymore. I can't control the issue of the voices, or the paranoia. I don't do drugs anymore, but I still feel the repercussions of the past. I think the paranoia is partly from all the drugs I used to do. Who knows. I don't. Maybe one day i”ll finally figure out whats going on. Probably not. But, oh well.
The third dream I was in humboldt county california and riding around on a bike. My brother was in this one. He dies too. I'm not sure how he does, but its rough. The dreams are starting to fade away. FINALLY! 5 hours later its all starting to fade. The anxiety and panicky feelings aren't going away tho. I don't know how to deal with all this anymore. What can I do to stop all this? I need help and don't know what to do. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
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