3 high school aged kids stopped me on my walk to ask about my dog. they looked "tough" unshaven, rough, t-shirts with the sleeves cut out, etc. but they were very polite and i enjoyed the conversation and answering their questions.
i noticed that one of the boys had obvious self-injury scars all over at least one arm. i felt so bad for him and i wanted to show him my arms and tell him i understand but i didn't want to make him uncomfortable or embarrass him in front of his friends, though there is no way that they didn't notice.
has anyone else run into this sort of a situation? did you mention it or not? if i run into him again, what should i do?
they locked me up. they shaved my head. they fed me taco bell.
in 2010 i was hospitalized for approaching perfection...
Yes, I reached out to a cousin. My experience was a bad one on that ocassion, but if you're really trying to help and the person sees that. it's unlikely you'll be rejected. Something as simple as catching their attention and flashing a hint of a scar will do.
Hope this helps <3
I hurt myself before others get the chance...
I hurt myself because others hurt me and I can't stand the pain...
To tell the truth, I'm afraid of recovery beause it means I have to let go...
i've never known how mention it. i went on a date with a girl about 6 months ago who had SI scars on her forearms, even when she pointed them out to me and wanted to discuss it, i was unable to say "me too"
Two of my best friends are covered in scars from SI and I'm still not game enough to tell them. I think it comes from me telling a friend who SI'd as well a few years ago. They threatened to beat the crap out of me if I did it again even though they were trying to hide their own obvious injuries. It's made me more then a little nervous about telling people.
I have some bad scars on one arm and i use to hide it but its summer so i said to hell with it and just started wearing tang tops, tubes and such. I say its scars of life. I've had a guy at work hold my hand and said "i wish u didnt do that, you take care of urself" OUT of nowhere! It was the nicest thing anyone has said to me. Rather then just stare.. stare.. stare.. blind and stare.. Like seriously. If i saw someone out there with some scars that you know were SI.. i'd totally go up to them and share. It made me feel nice some stranger cared for me for that second.
I have reached out before and it's been a very positive experience. Actually, I am currently "mentoring" (if that's the right word) two girls from my church who have ED/SI issues (just like me). Of course, my bestie's little sister kind of helped, so it wasn't just blindly reaching out... and there have been occasions where I wished that I reached out but didn't... but I think that it could be very beneficial to the stranger (or friend) if you did... because then s/he would realize that someone cares about him/her. Hopefully that makes sense... :)
*hugs*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
I think it would be nice if someone said something caring about SI to me- though I don't show scars generally so I don't know if they ever would.
I'm in the same boat as you, I see people with SI scars when I am on the till at work and I just want to talk to them about it but generally can't. There is this one man who comes in regularly who has a lot of scars on him but he is older than me... and another woman who comes in quite a lot. I don't know, it is like some implication to say something to them.
However, me and my friend were having a drink in a cafe and she accidentally showed me some scars. I commented on them and she got really awkward but then I said I did it too and it got a little less awkward and now we can talk for ages about that sort of thing. She kind of understands but not completely.
I worked at a place where one of the team leads reached out to me. She actually put a humorous spin on it that showed me I wasn't alone and kept me from being ashamed. She saw that the scars were all over my left arm and simply said "Right handed?" I got nervous and said "Uh, yeah..." She stretched her arm across my desk to point at something with her left hand (showing the scars on her arm) and said "Me too." We both laughed and everyone looked at us like we were nuts, but it took the pressure off.
I used to be a cashier and one day an older customer came into my line who was obviously drunk and she had her teenage daughter with her. She had to be atleast 14-15 years old. She had long sleeves on, but as her mother was causing all sorts of chaos and embarassment, she started pulling her sleeves up to mess with her scars and I caught them. I so bad wanted to pull up my sleeve and show her mine. I wanted her to know she wasn't alone and she needed to be strong and fight through it. Of course, since I was at my place of employment, I couldn't. Till this day, I wish I would have.
I was at a party and a girl there had very obvious scars on her leg. I wanted so badly to go to her but I didn't. I know for a fact that they are SI scars because my friend (the birthday girl) told me so. I didn't know the other girl and there were too many other people around but from what I understand she has stopped for the time being which is good. It's a hard decision to make, follow your gut in the moment and you'll do what is best.
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
if this boy had not been with his friends i would have said something....but since he was with his friends i didn't. i still don't know if it would have been better......but i was afraid of embarrassing him in front of his friends.
they locked me up. they shaved my head. they fed me taco bell.
in 2010 i was hospitalized for approaching perfection...
Yes. I've seen other people (obvious) SH scars, and I've noticed a few people that've seen mine. No one has ever said anything either way. In theory it'd be nice, but really I kinda think people should mind their buisness.
You - yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
I really wouldnt know how to bring it up, theres a girl on a course im taking with very obviousy scars but i keep mine hidden there partly (and i know this is bad) because hers are much worse than mine and I think she might think I'm a whiney little wannabe even though she really doesnt seem the type.
When I first started cutting I was managing a small retail store. I was working the cash register and as I reached for something my sleeve slid up too high, exposing my bandaged arm. The customer looked at my arm and then looked at my face and asked me if I needed help. I said no and hurried to complete the sales transaction. I had a few other customers there and two of my employees were close enough to hear me. Sometimes I wish I had accepted her help because maybe I wouldn't have gotten as bad as I have.
A few years later I was working as a nanny (hadn't cut in over 3 years, even though I started again a year or so later.) I was at the playground with the 18 month old I cared for and saw a group of preteen girls. They were arguing and all the girls but one stormed off. The last girl went to the swings on the other side of the playground, so I took the baby to swing, mostly so I could check on the girl. I saw some familiar looking scars on her left arm so I showed her my scars and talked to her for a short time. I gave her my e-mail address and my therapist's business card. I never heard from her, but I feel I did what I could.
