Triggering (SI/Suicide) - help struggling:(

[kthimm12]

Can someone please help me? I am really struggling to cope right now.

I have ruined so much in my life I just don't know the point of living it anymore. I ruined my chance of getting into any college except a community college and any community college won't have the course I want to continue my field of study.

I made a very very bad decision last year and I was very stupid but at the time I did not care how it was going to effect the rest of my life. But now I do know what I did and how it will effect me for who knows how long.

Even my adoptive parents warned me that I should have waited til summer time to do what I did but I did not listen. I can't be completley honest and say I regret what I did but....

I realize that what I did completley was a waste of time in alot of ways as anymore I do not hear from the people I spent looking for.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

I am sorry for the long post but...

I am lost anymore

[lily lady]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so lost.

I don't completely understand your issues, but about the universities/colleges - please don't feel like you lost your only chance. Things can change and often do. Just don't give up on your dreams. If you keep pushing, no matter how many doors shut - they can reopen in the future - or - another pathway can be found. But only if you don't give up. I promise you this is true.

I'm so sorry you feel so defeated right now. Please know I'm thinking of you and hoping you will feel more hopeful about your future really soon.

[kthimm12]

Can someone please help me? I am really having a hard time. I don't know how I am going to get through the night right now.

[tamobhuuta]

i hope you got through the night safely. SI or anything like that isn't the answer, so i'm glad you asked for help here last night.

what happened last year to interfere with your studies? it's ok if you don't want to say but if we know it might help us understand.

edit: just saw another post of yours. if you'd rather PM me about last year, feel free. or of course, you don't have to tell me at all!

[kthimm12]

Tamobhuuta I will PM you about what happened last year or we can talk on MSN which would be somewhat easier. It was a very difficult year for me and I made a very bad and I guess you could say sudden decision