help?

[k26]

i'm not sure what to do :/
i guess...im ill again. and iv been ignoring it for months.
pretending it wasnt happening and that it was fine.
but, iv broke down in front of people 4 times this week...
my parents are on holiday so..im glad they havnt seen it.
but, nobody knew things were this bad until i let it all out.
iv been using alcohol as my outlet instead of my old habit, self harm.

the problem is...iv been so 'well' recently. id only been seeing my shrink every 3 months. and because i turned 18 in november i got changed from child services to adult services in January, and i saw him then for a whole 5 minutes...he asked how i was and i said fine.

i have a lot of trust issues and, i was okay at the time. i guess i wasnt really feeling anything for a while so, i said id be fine to see him in 3 months time...then i saw him just over a week ago..
he asked how things had been and i didnt lie i just said it'd been a hard month and i felt like i was having to try a lot more...
he followed by saying that i seemed to be managing and didnt need to see him anymore...so iv been discharged from all services.

i know i should have said something to him, but i just couldnt.
i hadnt even admitted to myself that something was wrong i was still living in 'everythings fine' land, untill last night.
when again, i broke down in front of my friend and she wouldnt let me brush it off..she kept persisting that i do something about it and wouldnt let me ignore that id just told her i didnt know how much longer i could keep myself alive

i dont know what to do now...
i dont want to see the same guy again, i dont trust men so that was a problem to start with...i just dont know anymore.

[xbeckyx]

Big hugs.
Can you go to your GP and get referred to see a new counsellor?

[xgx]

as the same as aove see your gp if you can.i have seen alot of different people through the years and the majority werent helpful but you just got to keep asking for help and eventully you will find someone who will help you and in time you will begin to trust them.hugs x

[roiben]

I would agree with the above, go speak to your gp or contact the cmht and ask for a re-assessment.

Psychs have a bad habit of relying on past notes, so can often miss when situtations have changed. You need to be firm and insist to them that the situation has changed. Print your post out if that would help any.

I do not think it is right for them to have discharged you, as it sounds like you still need support, so if the psych still insists you no longer need regular contact, perhaps ask what your other options are - It may be that therapy and seeing your GP is more suitable right now?

Best of luck hun and keep trying with them