My psychiatrist gave me something to chew over. He asked me whether I needed to be happier to be able to stop cutting, or stop cutting to be able to be happier.
I just wondered your own personal thoughts on this?
For me I think, one of my triggers is my constant low mood, so I thought that in order to stop cutting, I would have to be in a more stable mood in the first place.
What about you?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
I think it was a mixture of both for me. To feel able to stop cutting, I had to feel happier. But to feel happier overall, I had to be able to stop cutting. I had to have control over it. I had to have control over my body. I had to feel confident within myself.
I know that my friends made me feel better within myself, then a few weeks later, I realised that I hadn't cut and felt generally better. SO the two kinda worked together, I think.
I think it is a bit of both two.
For me I couldn't have stopped until I was in a place where I felt safer and happier and felt like that there would be someone or something there to help me through when things got hard.
But I think there was only so happy I could be whilst I was still self harming and that it was holding me back and the only way to be happier was to stop.
That's quite a consideration. The two are very closely linked.
For me, if I stop cutting for an amount of time it is because I am happier and therefore not thinking about it as such. I say happier, I mean busier or more distracted. As soon as I realise how long I've gone then I return to doing it again. But again, conversely, I look back and realise how much freer I felt without cutting and so not cutting caused happiness. I guess I get quite confused so this probably isn't much help but hey, I'll think about it.
I think I'd have to stop cutting to be happy. The way I've been brought up, I don't deserve something unless I earn it, so if I haven't struggled in order to be happy, I don't deserve it. So if I fight through my bad feelings and stop cutting I've earned it, if it was an easy ride... Well, life aint an easy ride is it? :)
That's quite a consideration. The two are very closely linked.
For me, if I stop cutting for an amount of time it is because I am happier and therefore not thinking about it as such. I say happier, I mean busier or more distracted. As soon as I realise how long I've gone then I return to doing it again. But again, conversely, I look back and realise how much freer I felt without cutting and so not cutting caused happiness. I guess I get quite confused so this probably isn't much help but hey, I'll think about it.
This suggests that one of your triggers is counting the days/weeks/months. I was the same. As soon as I stopped counting, it became easier. You say you're busier or more distracted. Do you count that as happier?
I'm the same with counting days. My school psychologist made me to this chart thing which I put a tally each time I cut. That was pretty triggering. So I get where you're coming from with that as well
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Hmm.. thats quite an interesting question.
I started cutting because i was unhappy, but those underlying causes havent gone.
So whilst in way cutting does cause me a lot of unhappiness (hiding it, feeling ashamed, out of control, failing at stopping, being scared of myself etc.) and i would feel some relief if i didnt rely on it, i would still be unhappy because the other stuff is not resolved.
I think once all the underlying stuff was sorted, then it would be only the cutting causing me to be unhapy, so then it would be stop cutting to be happier, but for now its be happier to stop cutting.
that was something to think about, so thank you :]
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
Very interesting question.
Self-injury and I have a very unhealthy relationship with one another. I have to hurt myself because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy at least partially due to hurting myself (shame, feeling like a failure).
However, I can't seem to stop hurting myself because I'm unhappy. It's a vicious cycle that I see no end for. :/
One thing is sure-
we have to do something.
We have to do the best
we know at the moment.
If it doesn't turn out right,
we can modify it as we go along.
-FDR
Be happier to stop for me.
I know because it happened.
Life suddenly got a lot better.
I got happier.
I've pretty much stopped cutting...
Although I must admit, I am a bit happier because I stopped.
But I wouldn't have had things not gotten better.
Just think.
Are your problems causing your cutting?
Or is your cutting the cause of your problems?
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
