Triggering (Suicide) - Should I try again?

Kimaru · 01-06-2010, 08:01 AM

Nearly two years ago I was hospitalized for depression after a suicide attempt. I was in the hospital for 3 months, followed by a group home for 4 months, followed by a school that does half school work and half therapy for 3 months, and I saw a counsellor once a week for about a month and a half after that. So all in all I basicly spent a year in therapy and counselling and was on anti depressants for a year and a half.

Unfortunately I have been feeling really depressed and anxious for the the past 6 months and I have been getting suicidal thoughts again. Especially now that I'm graduating I feel like there is nothing left to look forward to. I am wondering if it would really be worth it to seek proffesional help again or if I should just try and get through it by myself. I am not sure where to find a counsellor without my mom finding out anyways, also if a whole year didn't help what will a few more sessions do...
I'm starting to feel so hopeless about ever being truly happy again. I mean, if all that hard work I put in didn't fix me, what will?
Basicly I'm trying to figure out whether I should give professional help another chance or if its better to work things out by myself.

jess :) · 01-06-2010, 08:38 AM

i'd say get professional help.
Apart from the fact that carrying the weight on your shoulders is unbearable, you deserve all the help you can get
i hope you're okay :(
PM me anytime :)
*hugs*

roiben · 01-06-2010, 12:35 PM

Firstly, it is important to realise and accept that you are going through a time of significant change. That can be unsettling for anyone and it is not something you should go through alone.

As it has triggered what seems to be a relapse, I would suggest going to speak with you GP or Doctor and asking if they can recommend a counsellor or therapist for you. How many times you see them will depend on what help they feel you need and what you both agree to. Often counsellors will have a shorter, six session plan to start with, but will extend this as long as needed once those six sessions are up. The idea of them is to provide focused, planned help initially (partly to allow you to get to know each other) so that there is less pressure on you both.

There is nothing to say you will only need a few, or that you will need many sessions. It is down to how you are feeling and what you think may help. Everyone is different, and the counsellor, therapist and Dr should all allow for that.

Remember, there is nothing wrong with struggling and it does not mean you are in any way broken or unfixable. It just means that right now, you need help to cope.

I am just a PM away if you need me.

Roiben x

Katiee · 01-06-2010, 12:43 PM

Hun, it's a lot harder doing it alone, I think you should seek professional help again. You will overcome this. We're here for you. x

Kimaru · 02-06-2010, 05:03 AM

I will try talking to my doctor I guess, I'm just worried that she would tell my mom. I don't want my mom to know because last time she lost all trust in me. She would also get so disapointed in me when I made tiny little mistakes. I was trying so hard to make my mom happy and gain her trust back that I forgot about getting myself better. I think I would be drasticly more successful if my mom wasn't involved. Its difficult to hide things from her though...