I don't know if this is the right board to post this thread, but currently struggling with thoughts and feelings. I generally just need some reassurance about life in a general.
Sometimes I think, what's the point in living? Because I always seem to get bashed down to square one again. I am feeling kinda hopeless for the future, especially if I am not getting anywhere with life in general. I don't have a job, and I don't think I could hold one down, let alone get to a job interview with my anxieties. I am sort of studying, but I don't have the concentration or the motivation to keep on going, even though I have applied to OU. I will probably end up failing! I feel like such a failure.
And currently just feel abandoned by my CMHT, but I guess that's my fault... everything is my fault. I can't seem to have the motivation t oget my appointments, and when I get there I don't really say much. Because If i do, i feel like i will literally die of a panic attack. I think my Psychologist thinks I am fine, when I am really not.
There's a lot more I could talk about ... but I guess I don't want to bore all of you!
:'(:(
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - W. Gibson.
It sounds as if you're struggling with many thoughts and feeling at the moment regarding your psychologist thinking you're okay and you're lack of concentration/motivation and anxieties towards exams and job interviews. Have you explained to your psych that you're feeling like this or do you maintain the pretence that you're fine?- Not to want to sound blunt or anything, I just know that it is something I do. Maybe you could tell her exactly how you feel- then she'll be able to help you.
In regards to your studies, could you talk to your teachers about how you're feeling?
I wonder why you feel the way you do at the moment.
I always say I am fine. Habit I guess, and I don't want to worry anyone. Usually OD, or self-harm to show I am not ok. Currently trying not to though, I haven't done any of that for a long while, but its very hard. Maybe I should resort back to self-harming? I don't know how to express the way I feel to make her understand how I am currently feeling "crap", depressed, whatever..
I haven't physically been able to eat properly today. :( Now I am getting a headache for it, but i can't seem to eat... it's frustrating!
I probably worry too much about stupid things, and/or read into people too much..
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - W. Gibson.
