Adult - Worried about appt. (POSS TRIGGERING)

[lost and lonely]

I really don't know where to start. I have an appointment next week with my psychiatrist, I haven't seen him for awhile the last app my transport got messed up and i couldn't get there, the one before that he was off and and the one before that he was on holiday.

I'm really worried because I know that I have got to be honest with him, but I am scared that if I am honest that it will make things more real and I don't know if I am strong enough to cope with that.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Talk of SH, ED Mental health

I'm gonna have to tell him, how I've really not been coping. I have had some real explosive out bursts and on a couple of occasions I've self harmed, the want to self harm is getting worse, and I'm having trouble controlling it. The fact that I'm not sleeping well again. Also I'm having real problems with my eating disorders, and the amount I've lost is obvious. I have also been hearing voices again and telling him that is gonna put real pressure on me because, I've only just admitted it to my bf and don't know if I'm ready to comes to terms with it yet, also last time the medication made me feel like a zombie and I wasn't myself.

I.m really bad about taking about my problems, and this does put extra pressure on, because I know that I have to talk and there is only a certain amount of time.

Crying on the inside

Just too much to cope with at the moment......Help

[xgx]

Couldn't you write down how your feeling an give it for your phsych to read.that would take abit of pressure off you

[Pierrot]

I know this has been done about to death, but if you don't feel like you can tell your psychiatrist what's been happening, maybe you could write it down? Do you keep a journal regularly? If so, perhaps it would help you to take it in with you, so that you could show it to him. You could also talk it out here, with us, as a kind of dry run; then, when you went in to your appointment, you'd at least have a good idea of what you wanted to say to him.

It's all right to tell him that the medication you had didn't work right, and you didn't like it. That's part of the process; the medication aspect of psychological health is still experimental, so your feedback will help him to help you. :)

Just remember that you're not alone. Your psychiatrist is there for you. You don't have to worry about what you're going to say to him; it's his job to make an environment where you can talk about what's troubling you, and then to be there to hear you out and help you when you do talk. He'll be able to help you come to terms with the things that are on your mind. *hugs*

If you ever need someone to talk to, you're welcome to PM me anytime.

[~SuNsHiNe~]

I second everything that's been said already and think writing it down is a good idea:) please pm me if u want to talk more,I'm here if u need anything *hugs*

[lost and lonely]

*hugs* sunshine

Thanks, I think I will take that advice. I have spoken to my bf and he also thinks that it will be a good idea.
I'm just really unsure what to say, I know that I have to be honest and that scares the hell out of me. When I have thought what I am going to say, would it be OK to run it to past some of you and see what you think. I will write it here but hide it, if that is OK with people.

love

LDC

[Scumbelina]

sure, run it past us.

He won't be able to help you if you tell him what's going on. I know it's scary but you are making a sensible decision to be honest x x x

[Pierrot]

Please do run it past us here. That's a good idea. :)

[Annaberry]

I agree, and although I have nothing to add I just wanted to chip in with support and love and hugs and to wish you lots and lots of luck! <3

[lost and lonely]

Here is a draft of the letter I'm going to show my psychiatrist, any comments feel free (please be gentle as i am very fragile at the moment)

The following content has been hidden - Reason : possible triggering

I am afraid that I've not been honest the last few times i have been here. i know that i need to be honest to get the help that i need but i am scared. i am afraid to ask for help because then i have to admit that my problems are bad and asking for help is really scary.
i have not been coping very well for, i don't know how long but its been awhile. my bf has been ill and has been admitted to hospital quite a few times and this has caused me a great deal of pressure and stress. my emotions were all over the place and at times i have felt like i was losing control. i felt like i wasn't as supportive to my bf as i could have been. he says this isn't the case and he was proud of the way i coped.
my emotions have been all over the place for awhile now and on a couple of occasion's i have self harmed.
i am also concerned that my eating disorder is back, because i have been struggling with food for months now and have lost a fair amount of weight and also on a couple of occasions i have blacked out.
i have also started to hear voices again and this really scares me because last time the medication worked but it made me feel awful, i didn't feel like myself.
i would really appreciate some extra help nut i am worried that transport will be an issue and am really worried about meeting new people.
i feel bad about the next part but i would like my mediation looked at. i feel as though it hasn't been working and maybe it could be upped. i was also wondering if there was any medication i would be able to take when i am having a particularly stressful moment to prevent me from harming myself, going into a catatonic state or destroying my flat or taking it out on my bf.
i was worried that i would not say anything about how i am feeling and this is why i wrote it down. i find it easier sometimes to write hoe I'm feeling because I'm scared to talk sometimes.

love

LDC

[Putain]

Wow, i'd say that's a really good letter. If i was your therapist, i'd be really pleased at how much information you've given.

If there's any room for improvement, i would say that you could expand on what you felt the effects of the medication were, rather than just making you feel 'awful'.

[Pierrot]

This sounds like an excellent letter; I'll second Putain's suggestion to expand on the how the effects of the medication made you feel, but otherwise it looks really good to me. :) This will give your psychiatrist a much better idea of what things have been like for you, so he'll be able to assess the situation more accurately, and come up with better treatment options. *hugs* When do you go in for your next appointment? Do you think you'll take this letter with you?

[Katiee]

It's good that you're going to be honest with him hun, that's a big step. *hugs*
The letter is really good! I'm glad you wrote it.

Don't be scared to give it to him! You can do it.
Take care. xo

[lost and lonely]

Thanks everyone for your support.
My appt is tomorrow at 11am (uk time).
I am still really worried , but my bf will be there for support.
I am thinking of going in on my own to start with and then call my bf in.
I hope it goes well and I hope that he will be able to use my letter as a reference to ask questions then I will be able to expand on how I'm feeling and how things affect me.
I will try and write later in the day to let you all know how it went.

[lost and lonely]

My appointment went fairly well.
It was in a new building so that made me feel anxious and a little stressed.
I did go in on my own and didn't need to call my bf in.
I gave the letter to my psychiatrist and he thought it was good.
We discussed how i had been coping (or not), what things had been stressing me out.
We have set up an action plan of
*he will talk to his team and see what they can suggest, getting more help i.e CPN
*we are going to up my seroquel to 100mg twice a day and maybe increase it to 200mg twice a day.
*he gave me a website that has some useful information on http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/default.aspx?page=0 click on the 'mental health info'

[xbeckyx]

Glad it went well.
Well done for being so honest with him :)

[Pierrot]

It's great that you were able to go in and talk to him on your own; that's very brave of you. I'm so glad that things came out all right. :) Each time you make it through something like this, it changes you a little. You're that much braver and better off. *hugs* It sounds like you did a good job; way to go! Are you feeling any better?

[lost and lonely]

I guess I was brave going in on my own, as I normally get my bf to come in with me.
I'm feeling a little better, just got to make an apportionment at the doctors to have a med's review and to tell them my seroquel has been upped so I will need a script.
Am a Little worried about this as my doctors are crap and are always really awkward to wards me, they wont believe the medication ha been upped by my psychiatrist until they get the letter from him (but i cant wait that long), I have got the piece of paper my psychiatrist wrote our plan of action on so I will take that with me when I go.