Triggering (Suicide) - I don't know how to deal with the hallucinations??

[TheFearThatGaveMeWings]

Hi, um, I have Schizoid Personality Disorder and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), I don't take any medication for it, because their isn't really a medication they can give you to treat Schizoid. But I don't know how I'm supposed to deal wtih the hallucinations for the rest of my life... I get them occassionally, but when I do, they usually last about two weeks or so before perferating once more. Sometimes it's voices, sometimes its visual, most of the time theirs paranoia and depression with suicidal and homicidal ideas. Most of the time its the visual hallucinations which have made it difficult to concentrate in school because I'll be focusing on the colors radiating from my desk along with the black plasma looking gas that is expelled from the carpet. It doesn't rise though, it simmers sorta like a heat wave close to the ground though. It's gotten to the point that I just put my head down to avoid seeing them yet risking detention for sleeping in class.
I don't know what to do anymore. I made plans on how to kill myself and it feels like a great idea. I just can't see myself living for much longer, and I think it's inevitable considering I have a senes of impending doom during my Schizophrenic episodes. I hate it and I can't deal with it for much longer. My doctors don't do anything for me, I told them I wanted to kill myself and I guess they don't beleive me. I've been in the hospital before so I thought they might take me seriously. Guess I was wrong. What now?

[DannieGirl]

there is a medication called quetiapine fumerate/seroquel which they use on bi polar and schizophrenia...i'll put the link here for you to look at, maybe ask your pdoc for it? see what he thinks? seroqel <thats the link

[Otter]

I too recommend the medication called seroquel. it is what I have had prescribed since I was 16.
For me it makes everything less confusing, like I will not have so much trouble concentraing on a conversation. I do not recieve so much of the auditary communication.

If you want to know, the one thing I hate about it: it makes me extreeeeeeemely thirsty (and I MEAN thirsty!!) all of the time. I have to have water with me at all times of the day! :L
but it really does help. ask your pchiatrist about it. (cant spell sorry :P)

[roiben]

Two suggestions: firstly, I would ask to speak to a different Dr if you feel the one you are currently with is not treating you sufficiently.

Secondly, I would talk to your tutor and explain what is happening in class so that you can see if there is any way they can help you deal with it. They have a duty of care to do this, and shouldn't be giving you detentions for being lower down on your desk (it counts as discrimination).

I find that someone else knowing it is happening can help. Partly because they can confirm to you that it is not real, and can not harm you. They can also help distract you and calm any stress that may have been a contributary factor. Is there anyone that you think you could talk to when you have these hallucinations?

In a lot of cases, stress and anxiety and being tired can make hallucinations more prominent. So it may be worth looking at what can be done to alieviate those factors too.

[TheFearThatGaveMeWings]

I tried Seroquel for a few weeks, but I couldn't stay awake and I have to wake up at five AM.
I haven't talked to my psychiatrist about the hallucinations yet. I've said it so much it feels a lot like a script, so I'm afraid that when I tell him, he won't beleive me because it sounds praticed. (I've told countless doctors, counting the ones in the hospital.)

[manic_felinemistress]

I took Geodon for a while two years ago when I was having some.. difficult psychiatic episodes. I was no longer suicidal, paranoid, hallucinating, or having mood swings... but I was very tired. That just comes along with the meds. You pick and choose.
I'm off that now and just on mood stablizers and anti-depressants, though... (I'm bipolar)