Triggering (Suicide) - alone and desperate

[Sunshine]

Im virtually home alone (my brother is in but on the xbox so wouldnt notice or ackoledge me or anything) and im feeling really vulnerable today and i want to use this kinfe i found to cut my wrists and hope i bleed to death! im desperate to hurt myself i havent cut in 2 years but this urge is just so strong! i know i will feel awful once i have done it and regret it big time but i just need the relase! i dont even know if i want to be stopped but i suppose a little part of me does because im posting this! i dont know what to do i would call the crisis team but they will just tell me to distract myself and that really wont work ive been watching tv for hours now trying to distract myself!

xxx

[Gone.]

Polly, honey, please don't do anything rash to yourself. You really don't deserve to feel the pain. Is it being home alone that is making you feel so vulnerable? Why do you think you feel like this? Maybe you could sit in chat on here to distract yourself, or could you paint/write something? I know they aren't especially good distractions. Call me if you really need to honey (by the way, I was that unrecognised number that text you the other day since I've changed it back again). You could join in with your brother's Xbox game. If you are desperate, call the crisis team and talk to them honestly- explain distractions are difficult.

Take care, remember I'm only a text/PM away.
xx

[Sunshine]

oh i thought it might be you, ill change your number again.

i called the crisis line but they just said distract yourself i told my brother im feeling desperate but now i feel really guilty because he needs to concertrate on his gcses not on me and my mentalness!

i need to use the knife! i need to die

[Gone.]

I'll PM you. Look after yourself Polly :) xx

[ModestMolly]

heya,
i hope you're doing alright, let us know how you are yeh?
hang in there, two years is really great. don't throw that all away. you are stronger than this, trust yourself.
*squish*

[weightless]

Please dont kill yourself,
remember, all of us here on ryl CARE.

-HUG-

dont do it hun. xx

[Pnuemonia[Blue]]

Hey sweetie,

I really hope you didn't do anything to yourself and that you are safe.
How are you feeling now?

xxxx

[one_step_closer]

How are you now? When you feel like that it can sometimes help to go out for a walk or run to get away from what is triggering you and get some fresh air and exercise. It can also help to write down your feelings, read what you have written and destroy it as if you are destroying the feelings. I hope you're ok. Take care.

[Sunshine]

Thank You everyone,

i didnt hurt myself in the end i just watched some more tv and then went to bed. my parents are home now all day so i should be safe, i just feel really sad and low which feels horrible
thank you for the suggestions of what to do i will try them next time
x