social anxiety

charlieglasgow · 06-05-2010, 06:33 AM

I don't like greeting or saying hi to people. I don't like socializing if its not over the internet lately, save a few people. ugh. i just dont like the way i talk and the stupid things i say. i just dont. i dont like people very much anymore. talking to them. i dont like talking to them. i am going to a new church and i feel terribly awkward when people ask how i am, what i do. general conversation. it makes me anxious. i get all upset when i thnk about the stupid things i say and embarassing moments. i want to take a vow of silence. maybe i'll do that? excpet i have to talk in my job. crap. crap crap crap.

i hate talking to people.
i just do. :/. i am watching skins, and remind myself a lot of JJ. which is weird and cool at the same time.

Cryptic. · 06-05-2010, 07:12 AM

I can relate hon, it's very distressing when you're socially awkward/anxious.

Do you see anyone about this?

x

charlieglasgow · 06-05-2010, 07:17 AM

yeah...i just dont think its helping/going anywhere.

Stellata · 06-05-2010, 07:29 AM

Such self consciousness can be really dis-enabling, I know. I hear how for you it's tied up a lot with self hatred type feelings - am I right? Are you looking at this?

Silencing yourself might sound good, in theory, especially when you want to protect yourself from feeling so rawly exposed. However, in practice, it can be even more alienating and lonely and stir up a whole bunch more of anger and resentment. That's been my experience, anyway.

Cryptic. · 06-05-2010, 07:33 AM

Can you let the person know that you feel this way? Perhaps writing it down & giving it to them?

charlieglasgow · 06-05-2010, 08:23 AM

maybe so. it passed for the most part. but i've stopped cleaning and doing most things and i've started SIing again so i guess i am not doing that well as long as it dosn't get worse. i shall ask for help.

DannieGirl · 06-05-2010, 08:56 AM

i used to get this really bad in school...it stopped me going and i now only get it when i'm depressed. is there someone you can talk to...gp or something?

CherryDarling · 06-05-2010, 06:05 PM

I used to feel a lot like this and still do a bit. I had CBt whic helped so much, but you have to work very hard at it and keep it up after the sessions finish.

Writer of Fictions · 17-05-2010, 10:47 PM

Being diagnosed with this, I can definitely say that it is really tough to get through. I mean, you know that all your thoughts are irrational but you can't help but feel this way. I have been getting a lot of treatment through CBT which has kinda helped, along with the cutting aspect. If you ever need anyone to talk to about this, I'm here. I know that it can be a real struggle when you start pushing people away but then there comes a point where you just feel so lonely that you need people around. Yet, no way of getting that because it's just so hard to approach people. Such a messy feeling.