I'm feeling confused and in unwanted solitude and I'm wondering if anyone hears voices, and if so, could you share a little about it? How/when did they first start? Is it a boy voice or girl voice? What sort of things do you hear/what do they say? Do you like hearing it? And anything else you can share would be great. I basically would just like to hear stories that I might be able to relate to so that I don't feel so alone in this.
Thanks guys.
This is mine:
When I was younger and in my teens I used to feel like I was 'possessed' at times, where I would absolutely freak out and break things and scream and even though I desperately wanted to stop I couldn't. During those episodes there would always be screaming in my head and in the end I would end up hiding under a table or something, rocking, and whispering repetitively.
I'm 22 now and that hasn't happened since I was 16 or 17. For awhile, though, I've had another voice, and this one is kind of hard to explain. I don't literally see her, but I know what she looks like and what she's wearing. I know why she's there - because of my eating disorder. I've heard a lot of people with eating disorders start hearing a voice like that and some even call it 'Ana' (anorexia). I don't know if mine is the same. Her name actually is Annalise, and I call her Anna sometimes, but I don't know if it's because of anorexia. Because her name is also Cosette. I don't get it, it's weird. Recently two more came up. They are Liem and Lia, and they're twins, a boy and a girl. They're both very mean, but not exclusively to me. They just really hate people and have a lot of opinions and encourage me to stop being nice and polite because it's exhausting, and stuff like that.
I guess sometimes I like them and sometimes I don't. I definitely don't feel so lonely, but at the same time sometimes my head feels like it's going to explode because of them. It's weird though because it's almost as if they are actually next to me, even though they're inside my head. Like, I know what they are wearing and stuff and sort of how they look. It's like that, but it's blurry. That's the best I know how to describe it though. Is anyone else like this?
Last edited by Lain Oddity : 01-05-2010 at 07:57 AM.
Reason: adding on my story
"Will you love me? Take care of me? Heal all of my pain?
My voices are inside my head. They're amplifications of depressed/negative/anxious thoughts from my subconscious mind. They first started when I was doing way too much meditative practice, and was also having a stress breakdown due to problems at work. They're not there all the time, but come when I'm under extreme stress of some kind. It's like part of my mind [internalisation of abusers] likes to torture me with this stuff.
Sometimes they're also commentary on what's going on, from a split off part of my personality. That's been more recently, as I connect with myself more through therapy work.
I wrote an article on voices for the eZine a while back. I'll see if I can find it later if you like.
I'm 19. I've been hearing voices since I was 6 and my personality first "split" when I was 7.
The voices - that arent altars - that I hear very. I hear them a lot - its sometimes guys, sometimes girls.
I've heard them calling out my name. This seems to happen the most and what was happening when it first started ...
I see things occasionally ... The one I remember most - because I frequently see her - is a little girl. Shes in a torn dress and all - and shes got a lot of blood all over her.
Despite all this - she seems really happy. Shes always ... Cheerful, though shes sometimes gets depressed.
Two others I see are a little girl and a little boy. The little girl reminds me so much of my daughter - so I call her Meru. And then the little boys name is Aveon. They dont show up all the time - but when they do its remotely calm ...
The voices can get violent. They've told me to hurt myself. They've told me to hurt others. They've convinced me to try and commit suicide ...
As far as schizophrenia goes, I essentially live in my delusions a lot. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post them or not - so I appoligize ahead of time and feel free to remove it!
My most constant "dellusional" thought is about the world we live in. I honestly believe we are in essentially a computer simulation. And that brings both a lot of fear - but also answers questions ... My biggest fear is what if the programmer decides he no longer needs the simulation and terminates the program? We'll be all gone. Our lives - essentially poof into thin air ... And then theres the actual thought of what if the game, or simulation corrupts itself? Again ... We'll be gone =/
And y'know - he has so much control over our lives ... It makes me feel like an ant being watched under a microscope - when will the sun hit the lens and fry me?
As far as my "altars" Theres only 4 of us. Rhayven (Myself) Mae Kai and Shadow.
Mae is seemingly calm. But she gets very aggressive around females because she doesn't like the thought of me getting attatched to them and having my heart broken - as I generally get suicidal when that happens, and "She doesn't want to die because of my stupidity"
Kai is very shy. I dont know much about him. I do know that he does care about me, and he is rather depressed a lot.
Hes made himself known to my therapist. He showed her fresh cuts which honestly angered me. She confronted me about it - and naturally I lied to her. And lo and behold Kai had already told her about them ...
Then shadow ... Shadow is ... Rather psychotic. In the past he's cut me up for no real reason. He's very aggressive and isn't afraid to speak his mind. I find that he takes over when I'm getting bullied a lot >.> Probably because I'm very passive and just kind of take it and it angers him.
But um ... If you want to know anything else - just PM Me.
the last 2 years when i get my destructive feelings during a depressive episode i hear a little girl screaming and a demon that says "do it, it'd be best for everyone else"
you're not alone
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I hear voices in my head all the time.
There are four "people" in my head, and they all have different needs and different ways of expressing themselves... Which can get quite tiring.
I don't let them write on here though, mainly because I have a more neutral opinion as they haven't really learnt to be tactile yet and just go in all guns blazing with what they want...
Ayka is aggressive and doesn't like people, and just generally shouts at people. She shouts at me if she thinks that I haven't done something the way she thinks I should...
Blue is soft and gentle. She's so shy all the time, and she gets scared eaily by the outside world and by Ayka and Crystal... She uses me for cover really.
Skye is really nice, and she's good at calming down Ayka when she flies into one of her moods.
Crystal is incredibly reckless. She does drugs, misses lessons... She's really dominant and overpowering. She's also really sly... So I never know if she's dominant or if I am... It's really confusing.
