Going to a doctor

[EpicFailGirl]

Hi... I'm on this thread despite being diagnosed with anything, because I'm scared of the consequences. I have BDD, that's so obvious I don't need a doctor to tell me, I've had random people tell me, and blah blah blah. This isn't about that though.

I know that I am crazy. There's some screws loose in my head, voices and stuff. Also, I have these moods like I'm bipolar, I hadn't thought about it until a close friend asked me if I was bipolar. He was pretty sure I was, and everyone else was like "yeah, we thought that too."

So I'm gonna go to the doctor at some point and see wtf is "wrong" with me. Could be anything from bipolar to schizophrenia. I'm hoping something relatively "normal".

So, um, can I get some advice and reassurance because the things that scare me are:
1 - there's something wrong with me.
2 - I'm terrified of being sectioned etc
3 - if I'm bipolar, I'm scared I'll "zombie out" on the medication, and the meds are the default solution so theyll just give me them and mess with my emotions
4 - if I have something like schizophrenia, the medication will kill a part of me. I understand the voices aren't normal, but their part of me...
5 - and also I'm TERRIFIED the doctor will tell me to stop wasting his time, and stop being a hypochrondriac, which leaves me as just some vaguely crazy woman.

so um, yeah.

[DannieGirl]

you shouldn't dwell on diagnosis as the mental health teams seem to be on a trend on not diagnosing people...
they have a newsh medication called seroquel for bi polar and schizophrenia (which i am on) and it hasn't zombied or killed a part of me...

you're not crazy, you don't have loose screws, you are you and never fail to think that. you are who you are.

it takes a long time to get a diagnosis if one at all...

they are also refraining from sectioning people as they don't really have the money to do it...i've actually been asked to be admitted (due to feeling unsafe)and they've said no every time..

speak to your doctor, only a doctor/psychiatrist can diagnose you with something(more the psychiatrist, a gp can give an opinion), not a friend.

i hope this helps and i hope you get the help you feel you need.

[EpicFailGirl]

okay. so they dont like... take the voices away, or change me in any way?

please dont start telling me "youre not crazy" because im pretty crazy. i just want to know what it is and what to do about it.

but they will give me medication? im not really sure i want meds.

[DannieGirl]

the seroquel is for hearing voices and disturbing feelings for bipolar and schizophrenia and other disorders..
i'm only saying it because i don't like to see you're putting yourself down.
they may or may not give you medication...is it a gp or psychiatrist you're seeing...it's normally psychiatrists who decide about psychological medication...

[lostandalone3]

Its actually offencesive to read this . You have not been diagnosed so therefore you cannot go round claiming to have this and that.

If you are concerned then go see a DR. and get the help you need. You are saying you are crazy... so are you calling people like me whom have a diagnosis such as bipolar crazy? I hate that term.... its an illness just like asthma.

When medications are given to someone with a clinical disorder such as bipolar they dont do anything to your emotions except try to normalise them. I am def not a zombie and i have been on medication for a number of years.

Sorry am just sick of reading post after post of people claiming they are this and that without getting a diagnosis especially when half of them are not even old enough to be considered for a diagnosis such as bipolar.

[EpicFailGirl]

im sorry i offended you lostandalone3, but i only said i know i have BDD. basically i hate myself, and i hate the way i look, leading to my self harm and many things. all i needed was to be told of the condition and i realised i had it. i dont need a diagnosis to say i suffer from SI, either. i realise its a thing, and i have it.

i never said i have bipolar or schizophrenia, i said i probably have something like that. i say im crazy because without any diagnosis, im just a girl who starts crying and hurting herself because of nothing, and arguing with voices noone else can hear. if youre bipolar, you arent crazy, youre bipolar. i never said people with bipolar are crazy. i said im crazy. if i get diagnosed with whatever i get diagnosed with, i might not feel that im crazy anymore.

i never said i know all about the meds, and what they do, i said im SCARED that ill zombie out, without the highs and lows.

also, im 19 years old, which is old enough to be diagnosed with bipolar. you have to be over 18. i never said i was bipolar or schizophrenic, but thank you for having a go at me for thinking i might have them. dont TELL me go to a doctor, i know i have to go but um... didnt i say? IM SCARED TO!

jeez, youre sick of people saying they have conditions? im sick of people telling me i say things that i dont say!

[DannieGirl]

i'm sorry if i've offended anyone

[Cally]

know how you feel. i went to the doctor recently and they haven't done anything like put me on meds or section me and i hear voices and cut. i think the best thing for you do to do is to see someone. at least you know that somethings wrong which is the start.
x

[Bleeding Angel]

What happens is they will referer you to the apprpriate places to get help. you dont have to take medication if you dont want it and they only ever section people if they are a comple danger to themselfs or others, so i think your safe.

[taz35]

1 - there's something wrong with me.
--> "wrong" is only a matter of opinion. If you look at it negatively, then apparently we all have something wrong with us. That's definitely not the case. You are who you are. You're an individual who has different experiences, that's all.
2 - I'm terrified of being sectioned etc
-->Like Bleeding Angel said, they won't section you unless they feel you need to be. They try to avoid it as much as possible. I know in our city, I'd have to be completely suicidal and have the means right there for them to section me because we have such a shortage of beds.
3 - if I'm bipolar, I'm scared I'll "zombie out" on the medication, and the meds are the default solution so theyll just give me them and mess with my emotions
-->Again, Bleeding Angel covered this. It's really your choice whether you want to take the meds or not. I was asked multiple times whether I wanted them, or just wanted to continue seeing psychs and counselors to deal with it. I don't really zombie out on the medication. They're still trying to get the dosage right at the moment, so there's times I feel a little different, but nothing that's impacted me too greatly. Note that this is meds for depression, not so much bipolar. But I would assume they work the same way... ish?
4 - if I have something like schizophrenia, the medication will kill a part of me. I understand the voices aren't normal, but their part of me...
--> Are the voices telling you to hurt yourself? Do they criticize you? I'd say if they're negative in any way, or impact your daily functioning, it's worth getting rid of them. If not... well, it's probably not healthy, but they can't force you to get rid of them =/
5 - and also I'm TERRIFIED the doctor will tell me to stop wasting his time, and stop being a hypochrondriac, which leaves me as just some vaguely crazy woman
-->Every doctor/counselor I've seen has been very understanding. If they're good, they'll make sure to address all your concerns. They won't diagnose you on the spot though. I've been seeing my counselor since January, but only started seeing a doctor for the past 3 weeks (although was tracking my moods before that on my counselor's instructions), and have yet to be officially diagnosed.

Hope that helps
xx

[random.swirls]

Somebody once said if someone was scared of or wanted to be sectioned chances are they were sane enough to not need it.

Meds work in different ways for everyone e.g. I'm on a reasonably high dose of Quetiapine (seroquel) and apart from a dry mouth I don't really notice it whereas some people that are on lower doses really struggle with side effects. However if I get put on an Anti Depressant I go high within days,

Re. calling yourself crazy. You say you don't want things to change because you are scared of not being crazy but surely being crazy is a negative thing?

[EpicFailGirl]

thanks, you guys are really great. thanks taz for all that, its really great. i might print it out to read again for when i go to a doctor.

thanks maybememories, i understand what you mean, i was a bit "what?" when my friend said he found a thing and i was it. ive read up on BDD and it just fits so well with my self esteem problems. i mean, i can feel great, really high self esteem one day, but i still feel like im ugly, its just that i accept my face and i deal with the fact im not pretty. i have a wonderful boyfriend, hes really trying to get me to see myself differently. =]

i am gonna go to a doctor. youve really reassured me, all of you =] im still a bit scared of what the outcome will be, but thats in the "crazy ol' lyddy" going from being the vague, jokey crazy, to actually having a mental illness. haha. srs bizniz. XD ill let you know when i get round to going to a doctor, and ill let you know what happens XD

[Bleeding Angel]

Tbh all thats going to happen is they will refere you to the apropriate places, they may raise then issue of medication, but its your choice if you want to take it or not.

Bit your last statment feels a bit insulting, have a mental illness doesnt change anything at all, and we ceratinly arnt crazy in any way, but yeah good luck :)

[EpicFailGirl]

sorry if i seem insulting, but i mean to say that i am "the crazy one", the one that talks to herself and hears things and goes a bit... weird, sometimes. im not saying having a mental illness or issue makes you crazy - im saying im crazy, both to myself and to others, and it will change things in that it pinpoint or define me/my issues, and it will change how people close-ish to me see me. it will go from "lyddy's a bit nuts, lol" to "lyddy has [illness/issue]" and be more serious.

[Bleeding Angel]

Sorry i know what you mean, but you shouldnt think of yourself like that and nor should other people, at the end of they day having an illness doesnt make you any less normal than someone who doesnt.

[EpicFailGirl]

no, i dont mean that people with mental illness are crazy, i mean, im viewed as crazy now, but its light hearted. if i had something like schizophrenia people may be a bit awkward around me or be worried or pitiful to me.

sorry, i dont really make sense sometimes.

[EpicFailGirl]

i'm going to the doctor today, with my boyfriend. im already freaking, but hopefully he wont let me chicken out.

[Bleeding Angel]

let us know how it goes.

[Entropy]

you'll be ok, just explain everything. I went to the doctor last week and its one of the best steps forward I have ever taken - good luck!

[taz35]

Fingers crossed that your doctor is as good as mine. Very understanding and willing to talk about the issues & medication. Let us know how it went :)