recovering after a therapy break

[Stellata]

I started back at therapy today after a 3 week break, in which I seem to have been very close to full breakdown state due to severe separation anxiety and associated dissociative defence stuff.

I feel really vulnerable.

It's going to take some time to 'warm to the world' and others again. I cut myself off to survive.

Plus I'm PMS'ing, which makes things more intense.

I'm scared.
I'm scared of how much my 'alternate selves' have been forefront.
I'm scared of how close to psychosis I've been.

Plus there are still some worries.

Can I have some moral support please, and maybe some empathy and compassion? Please?

[Becca]

I'm glad your therapy has restarted and I hope things will begin to clear up for you, and whilst you have experienced some really scarey things like alternative others and being close to psychosis. You've done really well to come through it.

*hugs*

[Stellata]

Thanks Becca.

I thought I'd stop feeling so vulnerable and strung out instantly, but no....

[whirlpools]

Sometimes I used to feel worse after a therapy break. Wasn't very good at recognising the anger at her for leaving me, but it used to come out in a messy explosion of feeling anyway. I imagine reconnecting will be a process to go through once all of the difficult feelings from over Easter have been heard and stayed with.

[Becca]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellata

I thought I'd stop feeling so vulnerable and strung out instantly, but no....

Unfortunately it isn't that easy, be kind to yourself.

You have done well to get through. I'm sure if you met yourself a month ago there was no way you could have seen yourself getting through, but you have!!

**more hugs**

[Pomegranate]

I think that it will take time for your to re adjust to therapy and having an outlet for those painful emotions. Unfortunately, as someone else said, it will not come naturally. Eventually you will get back there though. You are not alone in feeling vulnerable because your therapist is away. The difference is in how you deal with it. Right now, things may seem incredible difficult but in time they will get easier. Have you tried writing a diary about your feelings when they are most intense and then trying to analyse them or discuss them with somebody when you are calmer?

Do you have a distrations or relaxations list you can try? Do you have any 'emergency' techniques you can put in place when you are severel distressed? I.e booking a relaxation massage etc?

[Stellata]

Thank you...

Over night it was manageable, and this morning I feel really vulnerable. I'll hopefully come back to this later.

[Pomegranate]

How are you feeling now? How was work?

Everybody is different, sometimes people find different times of day worse than others. Is there any chance you could see your therapist a bit more regularly for the next couple of weeks just so you feel your relationship is rebuilding and to give you that added sense of security? Maybe it would be worth discussing with her the effect her absence had on you and trying to put a plan in place in case she has to take time off in the future?

Emma x

[Stellata]

Thank you..

I see her 3 times a week anyway. Next Monday unfortunately is a Bank Holiday though...

I'm doing quite a bit better now. But it's going to be a gradual process. Frightening how little trust parts of me have.

I'm taking Quiet Life tablets these few days to help me recover from feeling so traumatised by my own anxieties during the break.

[risenfromperdition]

how you doing now? thinkig of you <3