Triggering (Substance Abuse) - This week I'm going to try...(Might trigger?)

[-Asphyxia-]

This week I'm going to try and cut back.

I've been going to a lot of live shows lately, which means drinking a lot...I honestly haven't been happy, so I should probably stay away from booze anyways.

I just bought some lesson books to teach myself classical guitar to keep me distracted...

Though my friend's band is playing Thursday, and I'm worried I'll get hammered again....

I just need some support. I'll post later this week to let you guys know how it's going...

[Kitkat :)]

Good on you for trying to cut back :)
I know you can do it :)

[-Asphyxia-]

Thanks.

Of course, today was a crappy day at work, and I want to run to the store...I have a lot to do - cleaning, etc, so I'm going to try and keep myself busy with that.

It's easier to just relax with a drink and avoid all other obligations. :-/ I need hobbies, though, because I've been using it as a boredom/lonliness crutch.

*sigh*

[Kitkat :)]

I know what you mean, I think I need a hobby.
All I do is... drugs. It's not good.
Keeping yourself busy would be a good idea as well, anything to push it into the back of your mind (:
*hugs*

[-Asphyxia-]

Well, huge epic fail last night.

Jesus, I'm really lame.

Tonight I went to a dinner party at a professor's, had 2 beers, and came home. I almost went to buy more alcohol, but I'm sober & on here instead...

Tomorrow will hopefully be better.

I don't mean to post everyday, but I'm having a hard time lately...

[Sigma]

well done for not getting more alcohol, I know how hard that is... post as often as you need :)

[Kitkat :)]

It's okay, don't worry about the frequent posting :) we're all here to help
Well done for staying sober, I'm happy to hear that :)

[Sigma]

how's it been for the past couple of days?

[-Asphyxia-]

Well.....Mixed, I guess, Tokoloshe. My friend's band played last night, so of course I went to the show. I was there an hour early because he told me the wrong time...I did drink, but I drank beer. (Normally I drink whiskey and soda.) My problem is that I tend to not eat enough during the day, then I go drink......Like, last night I didn't eat dinner b/c I got done with work late, and I proceeded to drink like an idiot. So...I was pretty drunk by the evening's end.

On top of it all, I have a huge crush on the friend who was playing music last night....He works at that bar too.....and I was bitching about him to one of his coworkers because he's been avoiding me. I know that's not a big deal, but the whole damn staff knows I like him....So I am just embarassed I guess...for me and him...

I think (er, yeah... ) my friend walked me home....I really only go to this bar, so I know everyone who works there...They've called me cabs before...apparently I am the type of girl that is fine one minute, but after that last drink, I am just gone...Like, it all catches up with me. (I was told this last night.) I just sent a text to my friend who was bartending last evening apologizing for being so drunk, and he said not to sweat it.

It's not like I cause trouble, make scenes, etc. If anything, I get very self-deprecating and insist on doing stupid crap like walking home alone at 2 AM...I just get embarassed very easily compared to most...

Eh. Sorry for the long post; I am just super lost right now and feeling very down...