Triggering (SI/Substance Abuse) - I just can't anymore

Ellyx · 23-04-2010, 03:52 AM

I am really considering suicide, i have a plan and everything, im just so fed up with all this shit. So fed up with being in and out of hopsital. Fed up of all this family shit. Fed up with fake friends, who ditch me when some/one something better comes along, im fed up with being chucked out of college. Fed up with everything. I am being thrown out of college becuase i was abusive to a teacher while having a psychotic episode, and it seems most of the people i am "friends" with secretly hate me, and think im werid (i probably am) Im sick of being followed and im sick of people reading my mind. And im so f****** sick of the voices. I really can't stand this anymore.

MissCobain · 23-04-2010, 05:36 AM

Hold on sweetheart =( I don't know what else to tell you. <3 PM me if you need to talk, I hope things start looking up for you. I'm here for you

tamobhuuta · 23-04-2010, 08:55 AM

hi Ella, sorry you're going through a rough time with everything.

there should be options of care available to you apart from hospital. perhaps you could talk to whoever's in charge of your care about what's on offer, and say you need some more support at the moment.

wiht college i think you need to get your doctor or whoever at the MH team knows you best to write to school and explain that the incident with the teacher occurred while you were very unwell. college should be taking your condition into account otherwise it's not fair (sort of illegal unfair) and they might need someone just to remind them of that.

i'm very sorry about your friends, it's not right that people you trust should treat you like that. can you talk to whoever you're closest to amongst them about how they're making you feel?

these symptoms you're experiencing sound very distressing, but suicide honestly isn't the answer. check with your MH professionals that you're on the right dose of meds, but there are other ways you can help them become less controlling, at least, too. things like asking yourself for evidence of what your mind and senses are telling you; keeping your level of stress as low as possible (stress can make psychosis worse); little things like listening to music or watching TV to block it out.

hope i've been helpful, if you need me you know where i am