Triggering (SI/OD) - Considering Hospitalization...

[Chimaera]

I've been considering this for quite some time now, but I'm just debating on the 'right time' to do this... I've hositalized myself three times in the past - mostly because I NEEDED the help from the psychiatrists and doctors and whatnot. But this time it's a bit different? It's not that I want to end my life, and it's not nesseccarily because I need more help... it's simply just to get away from everything...

I honestly don't know what else to do. I don't want to dissappoint my parents by ending up in the hospital again... but I seriously need some kind of intervention in my life. I feel like the only way this will happen is if I get a serious admission to the hospital.

I've been Googling different ways to hospitalize myself but none of them have been of any help. Of course. So the only ways are either to OD or to badly SI myself...

I don't even know what I'm trying to get out of this... I guess... Really... In my situation where I feel like there is nowhere else to turn but suicidal ideations... what am I supposed to do??

[Snow White.]

Hey,

I wanted to let you that I can really relate to your post right now. I think you need to try and not worry about disappointing your parents; they would be more disappointed/heart broken if you didn't speak with them and ended up hurting yourself badly or ending your life.

Do you have any treating team you could speak to (doctors, psycholgist, psychiatrist) that can help you talk you through this and work out if this is the best step for you, and then organise an admission? Alternatively you could present yourself as suicidal at your local A&E department and speak to the on call psychiatrist there.

Your question - where are you supposed to turn? You should try turning away from suicidal ideations and be honest with someone who can talk you through this and help you.

Please, be safe.
xxx

[Greyscale]

I don't think that you need to OD or SI badly to be admitted. I got admitted just for saying I felt unsafe. Mind you, by the time they got round to sending me, I felt fine.. better safe than sorry, though. You should see if your hospital has a psychiatric ER. I know mine does. Anyways. I second what Aimee has said. I hope you'll stay safe.
x
Laura

[Chimaera]

The only thing I can think of is calling the crisis line. But honestly I don't think that will do me any good. I'm so upset with myself for missing my appointment with my therapist on Friday... She isn't available again until Tuesday and my mind is screaming at me like what am I supposed to do until then?


It's hard trying to find someone to turn to. I'm not a very social person, so none of my close friends even know about any of my emotional terbulance. Turning to my parents is even worse because I've already put them through three hospitalizations in the past... I made a promise to them that I would talk to them first, but I'm far too embarassed to talk to them about my suicidal thoughts again... I couldn't imagine putting them through it again...

And on the other hand, I've debated lying to them about it too. Saying I'm staying at a friends house for a week or two... I know it's bad but I just can't bear telling them the truth...

[xbeckyx]

Can your therapist help you arrange to go into hospital?
Why did you miss the appt with her?
x

[Snow White.]

Please don't lie to them. I know it is difficult but if you explain to them that this will help you recover & get through this safely they should understand. How did they react in the past to your hospitalisations?

I think perhaps the crisis line is a good idea. Even if you start to feel very unsafe before your appointment. Tuesday might seem quite a way away but you can get through to it, maybe ring the crisis line if you're feeling unsafe but try and get through to the appointment - your psych should be able to help you get in.

Do your parents know that you're struggling at all?

[Chimaera]

I missed the appointment simply because I was sick and forgot completely about it. I feel so absolutely terrible for missing the appointment because I NEVER miss any of my appointments... I guess from the point where I knew I missed the appointment and on... I gave up on any kind of recovery or any kind of healing the appointments have given me in the past - because I didn't feel like I deserved it...

I feel so guilty for taking up that hour, withough even being there... So I feel like I should be punished for that. And that thought just adds onto all the other feelings I feel That I'm unab;e to respond t0o

[Snow White.]

These things happen, there is no way that your self worth (which, although you don't see it, is large) should be completely diminished by missing an appointment, especially considering you only missed it because you were sick and forgot. That is completely understandable & reasonable.

You deserve to get through this, you don't need punishing for something like being too sick for an appointment. Please don't give up on the basis of that, you have a whole future ahead of you and you deserve to see it and enjoy it the most you can.

[I am a cat]

I dont have much to say really...because Im not in a fantastic place, but I saw this post and wanted to reply.

I assume you live in the uk? I dont know whether the crisis line is the same as crisis team (acute home treatment team) but these people are the gatekeepers for hospital admissions and things, so if you could get hold of there number.

The most simplist thing to do would be to give them a call and arrange a visit which could be within a few hours if you feel desperate or at the very latest the next morning. And you could ASK FOR an admission and explain why you want one.

Do you feel able to do that?

xxx

[88shelz]

^^ thats the same as here.
crisis team are responsible for the beds.
try to write down how you are feeling right now and why you think hospital would be of help right now and give it to your therapist.
there doesnt need to be self harm of any kind to be admited