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16-04-2010, 12:11 AM
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#1
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Laugh often. Dream big. Reach for the stars!!
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Canada
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Triggering (SI/OD) - Just out of hospital and could use some support
I just released from hospital. I was placed on a form, similar to a section I think, and was there for 2 days. Not long compared to some people I know but I didn't need to be there. I had taken a significant overdose, but I shouldn't of been admitted.
I saw my social worker today and I had to promise not to cut or take any pills for one week. Only problem is now I'm incredibly triggered. I think knowing I can't cut has made it even worse for me.
I need some support. I need to know that I'm not alone and that I can in fact do this. I'm so needy...
All I can think about is how I should have taken more pills when I had the chance. How I shouldn't have gone to the hospital. How everything could have been done better. I feel like crap and I don't know what to do about it that isn't negative.
I hate this feeling.
I hate that I want to badly to be back in the hospital.
I hate myself for not following through when I had the chance. Now I can't do anything and it freaking sucks!
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It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
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12 Hugs Given By :
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ebec11,
Gold,
Hollz,
Kitkat :),
laclry311,
Monsoon,
musicmad123,
no reason,
Pnuemonia[Blue],
startingagain,
tamobhuuta,
[BrokenHeels]
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16-04-2010, 12:24 AM
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#2
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A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently: 
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It's okay to be needy, we all need people.
You're not the only one who's triggered right now, I am too...
You shouldn't have taken more pills when you had the chance, clearly you weren't meant to die now... I know you can get through this, you have the strength in you to get through this.
Why do you want to be back in hospital?
I'm sorry to hear that you feel like this...
X
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16-04-2010, 12:34 AM
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#3
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Join Date: Apr 2010
I am currently: 
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Sometimes we need to be needy, especially went you're going through such a hard time. Do you have a list of coping skills that will help you get through this week?
I understand the feeling of wanting to be back at the hospital, for me it's because it feels safer there. I can't hurt myself there because people are watching me.
Last edited by ebec11 : 16-04-2010 at 12:36 AM.
Reason: Forgot to say something.
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16-04-2010, 12:43 AM
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#4
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Daffodil
Join Date: Jul 2007
I am currently: 
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(hugs)
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Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap.... Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know... *** Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys 
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17-04-2010, 05:11 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Nov 2008
I am currently: 
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I agree with ebec11. When i had taken a large od i was kept in over night on obs.The following day after i had spoke to the crisis team and i was allowed to go the first thing i wanted to do was od so i could go back to hospital as i felt really safe there knowing someone was around and that i could not really sh there.
hugs
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