Sorry if this is a bit incoherant, I am panicking quite a bit right now. I live with my mum and brother, and I suppose I have attachment/dependence issues with my mum. Basically, if she's not around I feel anxious. I wasnt always this way, it developed after I got discharged from hospital then my dad left home and I got agoraphobic too (which is now a lot better).
My mum is going to visit her sister tomorrow until monday leaving me alone with my brother. My dad is going to be "available" if we need him, and I am seeing him on saturday and sunday.
But this doesnt stop me feeling terrified. My parents went away two years ago for three nights and I had panic attacks every night. It was horrible. I couldnt even leave the house until they came home.
Okay this time I do have PRN so anxiety shouldnt be too much of an issue. But I am also emetophobic and have been ill this week. I am just about over it but I am worried I will start being sick again at the weekend when my mum is not here. This is the bit that is worrying me the most. Also I have to go to college saturday morning and I am scared I am going to be sick there and be stranded (if I am being sick I dont want to travel or anything incase I am sick again and generally get into a mess/embarrass myself). Plus I will probably end up crying and getting into a state.
Logically I know if anything of the sort happens I can ring my dad. There is also A&E quite near the college if I got really ill.
But it's like nothing is having a dent on my anxiety. How do I cope? I have told myself tomorrow I shall go into town and have lunch and look around the shops but if I feel in the slightest bit sick it's going to be near impossible to force myself out of the house.
I can just imagine everything going wrong and argh. Please help. Night times are the worst, too.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Hey sarah, how are you now?
Do you have anything that helps calm you? Certain music or a routine? A bath, book, movie?
I remember the fear from anxiety; it IS horrible...but I finally was able to realize that I could get thru it, it would be ok.
Other ppl may disagree with this idea, and i DO NOT recommend it long term, but when the fear of being/feeling ill got me, I would take a gravol (anti- nauseant), not sure what your brand is called...?
I knew it would work and also having prn with me, IF I needed it, helped too.
Hope that might help.
PM if you want/need ok??
*hugs*
xxxx
Hey,
this happens to me too. i think that it is important to try and visualise yourself getting through the day. try to really proactively push out the thoughts that you might not cope or will have a panic attack and instead think about feeling good, in control of your breathing, feeling calm and in control.
if you do start to feel panicky trying to go out and look at shops or go to a cafe can be really helpful. maybe just a walk round the block?
listening to loud music and singing along also helps me, it also helps control your breathing if you sing.
umm not sure what else. are you on any medication/have you thought about using medication?
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
How are you feeling now? Does your mum know about the attachment/dependence issues with her? Are you able to phone her and talk to her so that you feel less anxious?
I've been okay today pretty much, although my dad is here at the moment and I had college this morning.
effervescence I am on trazodone (anti depressant) and diazepam PRN.
Yesterday I did go to the shops in the afternoon to keep me distracted, and bought a bunch of magazines to read in the evening.
I am okay during the day it's mainly at night I get anxious but last night was fine.
My mum knows about my attachment issues, my CMHT know and we are all trying to work on me becoming more independant. It just takes time! And mum going away was very last minute.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Im so glad last night was fine! Hold onto that tonight to reasure yourself. I can understand attachment issues from the fact I used to be a bit attached to my dad, I was very dependant on him when I was poorly and it got hard to break away, though I am much more independant now. It does take time, but hopefully this weekend will help you show to yourself you can manage alone sometimes, and it can be okay.
Do PM me if you want to chat *offers hugs, and a pair of ears*
Thats good that you have distractions. You have a lot of magazines. The next time you feel scared get yourself involved in a project. Keep your mind occuppied. Maybe cut out some random photos and make a poster or something?
