Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Would'nt Bother, i'm not Worth your clicks *Sexual abuse trig*

How much longer can this go on, can i wait and see if she rings? no
i need to die
no one cares no more, its ;liek im spirraling out of controll ,
full on like i have no power over my body,
what im doing
why im doing it,
i havent SH in a week and a day exactly,
but is that gonna stick?
i doubt it,
im making plans, i making big plans, i know what ima do, i know where ima be, i know NO ONE will notice for at least 6 hours, i know how this is gonna end
i wish i could do it now,
its just not time,
im going insane
nobody can say im not, im 17 and not like any other one ive met, the way i am,
i disgust myself, im pathetic,
i hope someone repetadly rapes destroys me, stabs me int he stomach just fucking kill me!!!
kill me, just do it, i know evryone hates me :'( :'( :'(

[Schleier von Dunst]

Not everyone hates you. We at RYL don't hate you. We don't have a reason to hate you. And I'm sure you have friends and family who don't hate you either.

If you don't mind saying, who are you waiting for to ring you?

A week and a day without harming yourself is a fantastic achievement, particularly when you feel like this. I'm not condoning self harm in any way, but if it your way of coping, if it helps to deal with the situation, then no one here can stop you. When I had a Psychiatrist, he once told me that as long as I didn't go over the top and kept them clean, then I could cut if it helped me keep control.

Obviously I don't know your situation, but I'm 17 as well and I've felt the same way before. You're not alone. If you don't believe anything else, please believe that.

[Cazki]

I'm sorry you feel this way. I have to say that i agree with the member above in that there are lots of people who care about you here at ryl. I dont think everyone hates you, although i do understand what its like to feel that not one person cares about you and that everyone hates you.

Whats happened to make you feel this way? A week free is a great achievement!! Well done! Do you have any support? Do you know what it is that causes you to harm yoruself? Why do you wish that someone would stab you or kill you? Is it because you are fed up with your life?

Who is it that your waiting for to ring you? Self harm is a coping mechanism but its not a very helathy one and can get very serious and lead to lots of problems. If you want to stop self harming you need to try and look at other ways in which you can deal with your self harm and other coping mechanisms to help you cut down on the amount that you self harm. If you dont want to stop self harming then no one can make you stop its up to you. I dont believe that your pathetic and im sure many others here will agree with me. Please keep talking to us. We are here for you.

Take care all the best Ian

im jsut shit i need to die

my tutor,
but now she cant ring me anyway
caus there was a stupid volcano, so shes stuck in spain ;'( i dont know what to do :'(

[HealingPersonified]

Sometimes when we are down and surrounded by darkness, we fall into acceptance. This is a magical character of darkness... to blind us of it's dependency upon us. (This alone is a ground-shattering revelation)

Keep perspective on the real world and do not succumb to self-pity.
Ultimately in the end you'll be able to rise refreshed from hell's pits.
BELIEVE IT.