Triggering (SI/Suicide) - my 13 yr old sister is SHing now... and she blames me for it.

[isabella1411]

i feel like i cant breathe.
if it wasnt for me she would have never known what this pain is like.
last night she tried to kill herself and all i could do was think of ways that try to help me, and of coarse i fail,..because i dont know of anything that truely helps me when im this low.

im at school and i cant seem to cry.
there is a girl in my class that started crying because she thought that i had the same look her mom had before she killed herself.

my cuts arent healing, my chest hurts and my heart wont stop racing.

maybe mom was right...i am tearing the family apart.
i think im going to run away tonight, i know how childish that sounds but i cant do this anymore...
at least to by myself.

..wishful thinking again..

[Schleier von Dunst]

Please try not to run away hun. Although it feels like you're tearing your family apart, this is most likely not the case. Why does your sister blame it on you? In the end, it was her decision to SH, you didn't force her into it. I think by running away, you'd tear your family further apart, through the worry of looking for you. (I don't mean to scare you, but I've done this, and it really didn't help anything)

Feel free to PM if you'd like a chat at any time xxx

[isabella1411]

my mom said to "go die little bitch"

they wouldnt look for me i promise.

i think it may cross my mom's mind, only cuz her "men" need to get off and she would get paid.

[Schleier von Dunst]

Was your mum angry with you at the time? A lot of parents say things when they're angry that they usually don't mean.

Does this happen a lot from your mum?

[isabella1411]

everyday.

[Schleier von Dunst]

I think we both know that she's being very wrong. Do you have anyone in real life that you could trust to talk to about it?

If I'm at all honest, I don't think it's you "splitting the family apart." I think if anyone is, it seems like your mum's general demeanour is causing the rifts in the family. Does it seem like this to you, or do I have the wrong end of the stick?

[Cryptic.]

There is no, NO excuse for that behavior, and I am so sorry you had to hear that from your own mother.

I'm really sorry hon.

I'm here for you.

Please keep talking to us.

Don't run away or harm yourself, it isn't worth it.

Can you get away from this situation at all?

Stay with another family member, a friend, anything?
xx

[isabella1411]

she makes it seem like its me.. "the delinquent child"

[isabella1411]

the rest of my family lives states away.
my little sister lives with our aunt. but she refuses to see or speak to me.

[Schleier von Dunst]

As Sarah said, there is no excuse for the behaviour. Your little sister lives with your aunt, and considering you don't (?) then you have no real influence over her decisions.

Your mum makes it out to be you, and not her, possibly because she knows that she's at fault and refuses to accept it?

Also as Sarah said, would you be able to stay with a friend for a little while?