Triggering (SI) - I can't be a part of life anymore. I don't understand others

[cherryblossom_88]

I can't do life anymore. I am a bad person, and I think people have sussed me out. People are starting to leave me. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere.

I want to move on again. More broken friendships, but who cares ? i AM such a mess. I am a freak.. its not getting better, they would would be better if i just ****ed off. Shouting at my flatmate, not letting them know my thoughts and fears, i am a bad friend. I dont get people ?

I think im just a plain old socipath if im honest. Im going to end up in prison or something. I harm myself with eating disorders, cuts and burns.Literally sitting there and zoning out, and its not real anymore. A loner, wanting everone to go away, then feeling **** for wanting that. I harm others with arguments, hitting and shouting. I lie so so so much.

Who the **** am i ? I dont know who i am. Where the hell am i going ? comfortable in suburbia with my folks now, but what happens when i step out dhe front door ? total freak, thats what.

[Hollz]

Don't have a lot of words right now, but I completely relate ((hugs))

[Bleeding Angel]

Your not a freak and your worth so much more than this, but right now you have to tell someone how you feel and get help.

[Sato Twilight]

I can relate to what you're going through. You're not a bad person nor are you a freak, though. You just need help and support, someone to talk to. Can't be helping, keeping things bottled up to yourself.

[Stellata]

You can get support, through therapy or counselling, maybe, to help you understand yourself. That can really help you to feel safer in the world and with others.