Triggering (OD) - so. completely. done with serious insomnia.
so, last summer, right? i was sleeping maybe two nights a week? on no medication. i would do everything right, exercise, no caffeine, blahblahblahblahblah, get REALLY tired, go to bed, then a switch in my body would go off, and it didn't matter if i lay there all night, i wasn't sleeping.
so frustrating.
so it drove me insane, right?
until i saw a doctor, who put me on sleeping pills until my rhythm FINALLY came back and it worked fine, until I overdosed on sleeping pills recently, and was, of course, pulled off them. in the hospital, was put back on an addictive sleeping pill (great). they gave me about two weeks of it, and it ran out. i noticed while on it that my tolerance was going up, it was taking considerably longer to go to sleep.
my doctor had expressed she didn't want me on sleeping medication anymore.
i agree, they're addictive, my tolerance is up anyhow.
but really?
i'm back to square one. ever since i went off them (because i ran out) a few days ago, i have barely been able to get to sleep.
again, behaviorally, i'm trying everything. except for today. when i had a cup of coffee at noon. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
i'm mainly ranting, so please don't suggest warm baths or doing something or other behaviorally, because i've already been doing them. for a LONG TIME. and they usually don't work. the doctors determined at that time it wasn't something i can help.
here i am back at square one. not sleeping. needing to get a job, which you can't do if you're not sleeping.
last summer was horrifying, with the not sleeping.
i won't go there again. please, don't let me go there again.
yet, here i am. it's 3am, and i've been trying to sleep for a few hours now, no success.
the attempt screwed everything up, and no more sleep for me.
is it going to be another few month stretch where i just....can't sleep?
i'm tired of this! i hate being sick, period. i hate that they switch my diagnosis and my medications so frequently that i get whiplash. i hate that she won't give me more sleeping meds. i don't want her to simply suggest more behavioral solutions (chamomile tea) when she KNOWS what caused it last time.
and here it is again.
i want to be done with this. i want to be healthy, sleeping again. i'm so happy when i can get some sleep. i can not do this.
pleasee.....let me sleep again.
i'm literally begging for mercy. i want to sleep again.
so i could get some sleeping pills online, i could try OTC ones, but they usually give me hangovers. i'm not willing to go through this again. period. :)
I can relate to having so much difficulty with sleep.
You said your Dr took you off the pills after the overdose, which was fair enough really, but did she give you other options? Medication or otherwise?
Sleep troubles can stem from MH issues, perhaps there are things going on in your life, unrelated to the sleep issues that are causing them?
I know you said for no behavioral advice, but other than people saying 'sorry you're having trouble with sleep' and 'i get this too' i don't think there is much else to say.
Having a sleep routine is important, a lot of suggestions are having things you do every night before bed. You said something about chamomile not working, so even a warm milk or hot water could replace that, And reading on your side for a time, do some mindfulness/visualisation - i do one where i get into a comfortable position and imagine heat moving through my body starting at my toes. Concentrating solely on my toes, and i actually feel that heat (or coolness if the weather is hot) move from my toes to my ankles as i will it to.
Not getting up out of bed is another.
Keeping your work area separate from your bedroom is another one.
I know you said no advice, and you've probably heard it before, but worth a try.
Okay, I know that this might seem weird, but Super Sleep is really good if you're not on an anti-depressant (yeah, not really supposed to be on it, but I love sleeping so I don't care). It's natural and has Melatonin, 5-HTP, and L-Theanine in it. I've been on some serious meds for sleeping, none of them worked. My brain has never been able to sleep naturally, I was on Risperdol from the age of five because I couldn't sleep (like two hours a night max) and it did help treat my Autistic traits. Once I came off it because of some bad side-effects, the insomnia came back, couldn't fall asleep until 2, 3, 4, sometimes even 5 am. Not fun if you have to wake up at 7am. The Super Sleep is actually working for me right now, you might want to try it. You can find it at any health store, though I'm sure it can be found in other places too.
