So. I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday.
I’m starting to have doubts and regret making it. Because
things have improved and everything is no longer so fast and intense
I really don’t want to have a 'talking therapy' again as, in the short-term, it has in the past made me feel much worse and with finals coming up this is not good timing to be focusing on 'past events' etc.
I’m scared
I don’t know what to say. I honestly don’t know how to explain what this past month has been like.
Aargh.
****.
Don’t know what to do.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Maybe you could print what you have posted on here off for the doctor to see or write it down for the doctor to see to explain that things have been bad but at the moment you are OK and errr....well basically what you said here!!!! Sorry if this isn't helpful....xx
Thanks. Okay, so I have put together some sort of letter based on some of the things I have written. It has swearing in it though - would I be best to take that out? It's also quite long.
Last edited by mikey : 01-04-2010 at 03:35 PM.
Reason: removed letter. sorry.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
That is very well written and explains what it has been like for you.
Sometimes, just making the appt can make you feel 'better' or 'ok', then you are left wondering, "should I have made it?"
YES! I hope you do go and give that letter to him/her.
Best of luck, Ange.
xxx
I think that's a really good letter. I think you put across what things are like very well. Best of luck.
xx
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
It appears that escitalopram is the answer to my woes. Been on it before and don't remember it doing much, but hey, might be different this time.
Have to go back in a week so they can see how I'm doing, but the doctor I saw this time isn't there so I have to see someone else.
I feel like utter ****.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
It might help you this time, just concentrate on getting to the next appointment. Do you want to see the doctor you saw this time again? Sorry you feel bad, do something to make you smile a little (I know that sounds easy, but still) :) xx
That is really great you went, turned it in, etc!
Is that also 'cipralex'...i think so.
Been on numerous meds over the years and this one is the only one to have helped.
NO side effects whatsoever.
Def. give it a go.
And yes, if you would rather see the same doc, just ask. I think it is always better to remain with one, so they are able to follow your progress without you having to explain over again.
xxx
Ange, EVERYONE gets stressed over finals. I know my mates in final yr currently are, I knoe a mate who qualified coming up 2 yrs ago from L'Pool stressed; every vet I know did. The problem this brings up is that it can make mental health problems worsen which I think is what you're seeing. You do have to care for yourself and let other students around you care for you, it is actually part of our professional conduct **** so keep trying to keep yourself on the right track and I'd say try and keep yourself busy, get targets to do in a day and meet them, maybe go out, see your mates, try not to focus on other things, if they creep up then try to put them to the back of your mind. Cutting is far from great and it obviously leads to the risk of when you qualify the stress doesn't end and you could get worse; are you planning a break from everything when you leave/ go straight onto a job, unsure or even just going on the final yr holiday may help which I know L'Pool did still do 2 yrs ago so I imagine they still do.
Also, try not to focus on what your parent's want. My parents are so happy with what I got in my anaesthesia rotation I'm scared of telling them any others if I do worse which I will do on at least some. Often people at vet school have pushy parents, always wanting them to get the best grades but all you need to do is to pass and yes, that takes a lot of work, a lot of motivation but you need nothing more than that; I know with me my parent's don't agree with that but it is true.
Personally, if I were in your position I would not have therapy or counselling or anything like that until you qualify. Why? Because it could bring a lot of negativity back and it also takes time, not condusive to studying and whatever you're doing when you get back to uni (rotations? electives? I know our lot are going onto professional studies week long module and then electives yet I also know how Cambridge do electives before rotations so I don't know the pattern you do them) as well as could make you feel worse and focus on things that really you should be looking away from.
Have you ever tried (or heard of) Vetlife? I think it started around the time you (and I because I took 10months out) started 1st yr. It's constantly recommended to us. It's an orgnanisation run for support for purely Vet Students/ Vets/ Vet nurses and all the troubles they face whether to do with work or not so that may be a good thing to contact THOUGH, for others reading this it is strictly for people within the profession and apparently they're really good. I've never contacted them myself but their website does have some realistic figures on it. The do have an email address you can contact them via as well as a phone number which, if you haven't already it may be worth saving it to your phone; as a yr we were all made to in like 1st or 2nd yr. They are totally confidential so you don't have to worry about your faculty knowing so it may be worth concting them as well as they recommend the Samaritans too but that's a more widespread thing. But VetLife do focus on things other than vet stuff and all sorts of mental health issues as well as they have the ability to put it into focus with finals.
Right now as well I'd maybe try not to totally plan your life out (and don't let other's try that 1 for you!). Even when you get a job remember that it doesn't have to be a permanent thing and you can move away and get a different job/ travel or whatever; and don't fit into the trap of what the parents want you to do.
Even though you can get it off the website I'll PM you the number of VetLife. It is open 24hrs a day, 7days a week and is there to tackle the MH/ suicide/ addiction rates within the profession but only within it hense why I'll PM you the number rather than type it here.
Thank you all so much for the replies.
I suppose it doesn' t matter which doctor I see. I don't know if I care or not. He was nice, and I was able to talk to him and he listened and was kind, but I'm sure this other one will be okay too.
I'm glad it helped you Romp. I haven't taken it yet but I might take my first one tonight. I just... I hate this. Agh.
Kim. Thanks so much for your reply and the PM. I'd forgotten about them but you're right, it might be good to contact them, esp. if things continue this way.
All the fast strangeness has calmed down a lot, thankfully, but I'm feeling really empty and low. Maybe he is right, maybe I am depressed again.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Ange, if you're ever on msn and I appear offline feel free to talk. I may be there, I may not be but it might be good to talk over there too. I mean the time I'll be spending on the net/ msn will be a lot less after easter again because of the obvious long hours (apart from equine ambulatory which seems rather easy!) that rotations bring as well as the on call where sometimes I'm less inclined to set up a convo but feel free to leave a message and I'll get back to you. I know someone (though I've not spoken to her for ages now) who graduated from your vet school 2yrs ago; a small animal intern when you'd have started rotations, and I know some of the stress she went though through rotations and a bit after and as far as I know (and we knew quite a bit about each other's health and stuff) she was totally mentally stable, very happy before starting the course and then during the final yr there was points where she was scared of leaving (unsure if that was what lead to her to take on an internship) because of some things that happened on rotations and stuff and she did quite seriously think in her final yr bout dropping out (not just the odd thought most have but it did get back to one of my friends and she took it really seriously) but she got through all of that and now, from what I've heard of her, seems very happy with it all. And I've heard of others that have believed they can never do it and they've passed and things. Just try and take it a day at a time and when looking at jobs maybe ask around at where you did some of your EMS where you enjoyed and felt supported and see if they have any jobs coming up but then a LOT of the place that take on new grads don't tend to drop them in the deep-end; guess it's harder if you're going into farm/ (non-intern) equine than smallies where you often have a more experienced member on hand to talk to but yeh.
