Right to give advice? (not sure what warning to put if any)

[dye on the rope]

I always go from one thing to the other.. SI, Alcohol, Drugs.
For about two years I've dabbed in most drugs.. never heroin or crack. I'm lucky in a sense that my friends who do, don't do it in front of me.
I decided to quit drugs at the start of July, I told my best mate.. so we bought a few grams of Ketamine, put some tunes on and invited some close friends round for a bit of a gathering.
Since then I've had a bomb (what you put drugs into in order to consume) of MD.. which was quite accidental (a bit hard to explain). and 4 lines of Ketamine... which is very good for me. I was in town yesterday and people were commenting on how good my skin looked, how awake and active i was. they thought i had a new bf cause they were saying i hadn't been this way since my ex. (he took drugs but refused to give me any) I got really good comebacks and felt really happy in myself for the first time in ages...

And then they invited me out last night.. then i started bumping into old dealers... good friends and my raver buddies and they were offering me everything. as i was already pissed i accepted. I had MDMA, Pills, Ketamine, Weed, Coke... anything i could basically. we finished up at the end of the night sitting in a field and i was saying how i had such a good night. I started walking home about 5am this morning.. started reading the newspaper because i was still buzzing and couldn't sleep. read the artical about Amy Wine house. you know, about her OD'ing on pretty much the same drugs i had last night...

Its weird to think that she's in a bad state... yet I've probably taken about the same as her and I've never got myself into that state (ha from what i remember of the night)...

I've been invited out again tonight.. everyone was saying that i "should" because i haven't been out in over a month. I've agreed and i just know i'll end up going down the same path I've come from.

The past month I've missed my friends a hell of a lot. to the point where i even turned my phone off at the weekend to not get tempted. but when I've seen them in the street I've practically knocked them over just because i've wanted to give them a hug.

To be fair, i'd rather chose my friends over my health but i know i have to think about it in the longrun.

I feel weird giving advice on this forum... because i'm not recovered.
Its almost as if i'm telling one person not to do something and then giving myself completly different rules.

I dunno, I think i just need abit of advice to be fair. I cant seem to think for myself anymore.

[svenn]

sounds like you made your choice. those drugs can and will eventually kick your ass. but i hope not too hard. you seem to have realized something that many people do not when trying to get clean. you cannot talk to your using friends. so if an when you do wish to quit you will know how to start.
take care of yourself and keep safe.

[typsee]

Dye .... I'm very sorry that I've only just seen this thread now .... how are you doing now hun?

I think there are alot of us who do much better giving out the advice, then taking it ourselves and applying it to our own lives - it does not make your advice any less sound for other people .... it only means that at this point in your life, there are circumstances that make it difficult for you to practice what you preach.

I really do hope that you have managed to get on top of your substance use again ... you sounded so happy in your post when you spoke of how well everyone was saying that you looked, and drug use sure does take a toll on our health - body, mind and spirit.

Personally, I feel that one of the most sickening aspects of using drugs is that there is a natural tendency for things to get out of control very quickly, and for a downward spiral to ensue .... and I am just really hoping that you managed to stop using again pretty soon after you posted this thread.

I will look out for some of your posts Dye to see how you are doing.