Triggering (SI) - I just need some help/support... *triggers*

[Commoner-Kou]

I dont' know... if it has anything to do with the accidents that i had last week, but i've been having a lot of trouble the passed two weeks. it'll be two weeks this coming tuesday, and thrusday. but i recieved a minor concussion on both of those days.thats two in three days.

ive been really messed up since. one minute, i'm fine. the next i'm and down and upset, or just exhauseted. ive really been thinking about s**c*de the passed couple of weeks, and even the littlest thing will trigger me or make me urge to SI
i just recently got home from my family vacation. i spent almost all of it worrying about the pictures i took not being good enough. And if we would have enough money to come home with. Or if i/we was being too expensive

all week i've been worrying about a friend of mine. she's also been out of state on a trip. i just wanna see her, and hug her. but she's so far away and i can't help but miss her. i don't know why. i don't usually miss people so damn much.

ive spent all day picking at my skin. my entire arms are hot and red and swollen from it and my chest is sore as well. I've never had this big of a problem with my picking before. but i have been doing it since i woke up this morning. and can[t stop for somereason.

last night i had a dream about my abusive ex in it. i don't know why. but it really bothered me. my friend came over today. spent the whole day with me--why, i'm not sure. and i layed down on my bed with her sitting next to me. something we do a lot while she's over.because i get tired easily. as of late. and i have this, tactile thing, issue. i dunno. but i like the texture of her fingernails. so i was playing wiht/stroking her fingers and i fell asleep. and i was afraid to wakeup/open my eyes because i just saw myself waking up with my hand in my ex's and my ex being the one above me.

i had a hard time eating oday. wich is wierd because i haven't had a difficult time eating in months. I blatantly refused to eat wiht my friend whil she was over. unless she ate with me/cooked for me. it was so odd. i don't kow why. but i just can't stand the thought of eating right now... i haven't had that problem in so long...

I'm having a really hard time typing.. ever since my frist accident... i hate that. so much. i ca't take pride int eh things i type anymore/right now. because it looks to bad and sloppy.. it takes me so long to write/type. and it doesn't even look/come out good... dammit! why did i suddenly forget how to type words!?



I don't know. it just seems like i've been having a really hard time lately. i don't know if it has something to do with my accidnts or not. i'm not suer. i was just doing so so well with my recovery. and now all this has happened/been happening... i don't know.. i'm just tired and isck of this crap... i ijust nnedd a hug, i guess..

I just need ot know that this will all pass... and that things will be okay again soon... please?

[x-love/hate/tragedy-x]

*hugs*
Things will be ok again, and the fact you've written that shows you have hope which is a good sign.
your dream was a one off occurrence that hopefully won't happen again, so for now try to put him out of your mind because dreams are the way our brains unconsciously sort out our thoughts (kinda)
try using germolene or sudocreme on your skin, they might help calm it down abit.
and at least you have friends there for you, if it makes it easier for you try and eat with people, so you don't slip back into bad habits.
hope this helped
[xxx]

[Katiee]

I'm sorry you have a lot going on right now hun.
I think you should talk to someone if things are getting bad again. *hugs*
They'll be able to support you and talk through why you're feeling like this. Hope you feel better soon :) xo

[Too Shy]

Things will be ok again soon, it will get better.

If you've had concussion especially, it sounds like things have been very difficult lately - and concussion can affect your emotion reactions (I think). It sounds like a pretty normal reaction to be up and down at the moment, and you need to take some time out for yourself ust to rest - it sounds like you've got a lot of stress going on at the moment. It also sounds like you're being quite critical of yourself, which must be difficult to deal with.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this to try and prevent it from getting worse? Especially if you've been thinking about suicide - talking would be a really good idea.

Take care, xx

if you've had mood changes following concussions you really need to go to the doctor. there could have been damage or there could be other injuries besides a concussion that they could have missed. it's possible it's psychological and from stress, but there is a chance that something neurological could be wrong. so i'd really suggest you talk to a doctor.