Triggering (SI) - It's been 10 days

byemebyeme · 20-03-2010, 07:43 AM

10 days since my last SI.
And I'm not sure about this whole thing.

I feel so much worse than before...like I'm not even alive...I feel dull and exhausted and I want to give up so bad.
I feel constantly nauseous and my head is pounding. I can't eat because I feel so sick and I just want to sleep and sleep.
This stopping is not turning out so well.

I think I need help.
No one knows I've SI, or that I'm trying to stop.
But I just don't know what to do because I'm in the USA and I would have to get my parents to take me to the doctor. And I don't want my parents to know yet.
But I think I have a problem.

Trying to stop has become such a negative thing.
I've never felt this bad before.
I don't want to stop. I want to cut and cut and make myself feel better. I want there to be no scars so no one knows. But I want to hurt myself. Really bad.

I want out. I didn't ask for this

josiedoodle · 20-03-2010, 08:19 AM

when ever i try and stop i always feel worce bofore i feel better. possibly not the best idea but could you switch the obsetion to something elts? like i tryed to use coffee... it makes me feel a little better.
although maybe you cold talk to a school counseler that is what i did and they don't have to tell your paronts.(although i am in england so it might be a little different) but i wouldn't go to a teacher because if they don't understand the situation they could ring your paronts. or evan better tell a freind. but try and tell someone you think would understand. i am sure you will make it through :)

xxemolollypopxx · 20-03-2010, 08:25 AM

I am happy for you and your not cutting. they say that it only takes 3 weeks to brake a habbit even one like ours so good luck and if you can stop for good than I will try if you tell me that you stoped for good. Well good luck with it Hope you can do it.

Katiee · 20-03-2010, 02:05 PM

10 days is amazing hun, you should be proud.
I'm sorry you're feeling awful though - could you ring a helpline and get some support? *huggles*
Prehaps you could find distractions or do things which make you happy/make you feel relaxed? I'm here if you want to talk. <3

mollysaysrecover · 20-03-2010, 02:15 PM

i'm proud that you have resisted the urges for 10 days. I'm very proud of you *hugs*
I hope that you feel better soon, it will get better, I promise. It seems as though you've gotten so used to SIing that your body is saying you need it, but you don't. Remember before you started SIing and how happy you were. That helps me.
xxx

akita · 20-03-2010, 03:03 PM

10 days is excellent honey.

IzziBelle · 20-03-2010, 04:33 PM

10 days is so good, I remember how tough that time was. Please remember what a great achievement this is.
Run a long bath, sit with a magazine, paint your nails. You deserve a treat for this :D And it'll help distract you. Remember that the 10days was a series of minutes. Every minute SI free counts. You are doing so well.
xxx

byemebyeme · 20-03-2010, 05:54 PM

Thank you so much everyone, it really means a lot to have some support

Quote:

Originally Posted by mollysaysrecover

Remember before you started SIing and how happy you were. That helps me.
xxx

I wish I was happy before. I was really sad before I starting SI

And I can't go to a school counselor, because I don't really have one.
I go to college as a high schooler and the counselors there don't have a lot of confidentially if you're a minor. I looked into it and they have confidentially until you're in danger or hurting yourself/others or have hurt yourself.
So that's not going to work unfortunately.