So my therapist gave me this worksheet to fill out at home and I thought maybe someone else would benefit from completing this as well...maybe a mod could make this thread sticky or something...
If you'd like to post your answers as a reply copy and paste these questions:
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
6. How does this behavior punish me?
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I am asking for help
I want to be rescued
I believe my body is a battleground
I want to cleanse myself
I want to somehow atone for my sins
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am retaliating against myself for telling secrets
I am doing what my abuser brainwashed me to do, if I told
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to get "high"
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1.
2.
3.
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
No one knows about it anyways
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
It keeps people away
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
Lastly, before I type this big long list of things that my therapist suggests for distraction techniques, stop copying here
The following content has been hidden - Reason : List of Distractions, hidden for length
Things to know:
There are 6 stages of recovering from a harming problem
1 pre-contemplation: my negative beliefs about myself are right, there's no need to change
2 contemplation: maybe i do need to make some changes
3 preparation: i guess i need to focus on the positive things about myself
4 action i will tell myself these positive things everyday a,b,c
5 maintenance: i am beginning to believe these positive things about myself
6 termination: recovery with slip-ups, but still recovery nonetheless, nothing will get me down Distraction techniques:
Focus on a word puzzle, sudoku, word search, crossword puzzle, cryptograms, anagrams, etc
Make a list of things you could be doing instead of harming
Write or draw the abuse instead of doing it
Substitute physical activity instead of harm
Make a collage of acceptable methods of self-expression
List the triggers that lead you to self-harm so you can recognize them
Look at the backlash, remember how you feel and use that next time you wish to harm
If you must see blood on yourself, get some fake blood and use it to visualize the effect
Use a rubber band on the area you wish to harm and pop it once or twice to alleviate the same feelings but not the damage when you're overwhelmed
I hope this post helps some of you as much as it is me.
Last edited by lilrenthefox : 18-03-2010 at 05:44 AM.
Reason: question unclear
I hurt myself before others get the chance...
I hurt myself because others hurt me and I can't stand the pain...
To tell the truth, I'm afraid of recovery beause it means I have to let go...
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Burning, cutting, scratching
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
They keep me from losing my mind.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
I control the pain, not anyone else.
4. How does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
It doesn't.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It doesn't.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
I don't do it to punish myself.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
About six years ago in seventh grade. No friends, lots of bullies, fatness.
8. How does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure?
I don't understand this question.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Read a book (even though I put away about 3 books a week).
2. Write (do that, too.)
3. Play in the arcade on RYL
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
No one knows about it anyways
1. cutting. scratching. biting. bruising. hitting. not letting scabs heal.
2. they are the only thing in between me and...yeah.
3. i can sort of control when i do it. sort of.
4. it...takes away from the pain on the inside.
5. it doesnt.
6. it hurts after.
7. couple months ago. because i just couldnt take it.
8. i have a therapist. but not because of it.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I want to be rescued
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am doing what my abuser brainwashed me to do
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to get "high"
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. ...write
2. listen to music..
3. uh...talk? dont really know.
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
It just shows how bad a person I am
I'm glad to see a few posts in such a short amount of time :) here's mine
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cutting
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
It lets me think I'm in control and gives me a release from emotional pain
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
I control how many cuts, how deep, where they are, when they heal, and how much pain i'm in
4. How does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
It makes me feel like I'm cutting the bad part(s) of me away
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
I hate myself sometimes
6. How does this behavior punish me?
puts me through pain and the people i've hurt get the justice they deserve and cuts the people who hurt me out of my life
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
age 6-7, got picked on at school and was very "clumsy" got in a lot of "accidents" since I didn't know about cutting then
8. How does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure?
It makes me feel accomplished, like I've cut a bit more of the pain out of my life
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I believe my body is a battleground
I want to cleanse myself
I want to somehow atone for my sins
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. drawing/writing
2. playing with my puppy
3. playing world of warcraft
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
No one knows about it anyways
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
This was helpful to me, I hope you all find it helpful to you too :D
I hurt myself before others get the chance...
I hurt myself because others hurt me and I can't stand the pain...
To tell the truth, I'm afraid of recovery beause it means I have to let go...
1. List the ways that you self-harm
scratching, overdosing, fasting
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
They don't. But i suppose they make me feel safe a little bit.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
Yes.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
Not anymore.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
Just on myself, even though i've never done anything wrong.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
it hurts a lot and looks bad.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
Four years ago.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
Numbs me, some release of stress.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I want to be rescued
I want to cleanse myself
I want to somehow atone for my sins
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left offs
I am doing what my abuser brainwashed me to do, if I told
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Do exercise.
2. Write.
3. Talk to someone/cry.
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cutting/burning
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
Feel more in control, reduces suicidal thoughts
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
I can control how much i cut and how much i hurt
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
It helps reduce the emotional pain but i dont feel much better though
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It gives me revenge on myself cause i hate myself
6. How does this behavior punish me?
By causing pain, bleeding and hurt
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
Started when i was 13 (im now 33). Started it as a result of not being able to deal with abuse. And i wanted to release frustration and hatred towards myself.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It doesnt
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I am asking for help
I want to be rescued
I want to cleanse myself
I want to somehow atone for my sins
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am retaliating against myself for telling secrets
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Write
2. Talk to someone
3. Exercise
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
It keeps people away
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cutting and Overdosing.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
They give me a sense of control I guess.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
It lets me control when I am hurt, rather than other people.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
I don't think it does for me, it's more the control.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It doesn't.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
Because I deserve to hurt, because I am messed up.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
Three years ago, I don't know exactly when or why.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It doesn't bring me affection, few people know, those that know think I've stopped apart from my best friend who I tell everything.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I want to be rescued
I believe my body is a battleground
I want to cleanse myself
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am retaliating against myself for telling secrets
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1.Talk to someone I guess.
2.Do something productive for once.
3.Go for a walk.
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
Stage 2 I think.
I've found filling these things out help me whenever i find them online. clear thoughts ya know?
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic> cutting, biting, a few 'risky' behavours with the intentsion of getting hurt
2. How do these behaviors help you survive? I suppose they don't in the end (one thing I do could kill me easily)
but it lets whatever's bothering me clear enough to deal with it.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control? No one else can hurt me, besides me.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better? Pain in itself releases endorphines. I have a high pain tolerance, yet the same is let out for me than someone else who has a LOW tolerance.
So it's really not hurting, but causing a mild high at the same time
5. How does this behavior give me revenge? Uh, it doesn't?
6. How does this behavior punish me? Scars
7. When and why did you start this behavior? I don't even remember when I started with the earlier stuff. maybe 8 or 9
I couldn't deal with my life.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies) well like above it's a high really. that's all.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do: I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I want to cleanse myself
I am trying to express my pain
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to get "high"
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. talk to someone
2. caffeine high. Don't know how much more healthy this is, but it numbs me the same
3. lolcats ^.^
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
There are 6 stages of recovering from a harming problem Varying between 2 and 6, depending how recently I've relapsed
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cutting, scratching, sometimes banging my head
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
Not quite sure, it lets the emotions out, helps me to focus again, its all i can think of doing when i am really stressed so once i have done it i can think about other things.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
Not much control, i cant control where and how many. It gives me control of myself again when my emotions get out of hand and i am panicing
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
Feel slightly good whilst doing it.....not after though
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It doesnt really, unless it is against myself i guess, or too show that i can hurt me more than others can
6. How does this behavior punish me?
Because it is hurting myself?? I do it to punish myself for being stupid and because i deserve it. When other people hurt me i have to hurt me too
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
At school, think i was about 12, people where picking on me a bit and i was very lonely. Just started out as small things and not hurting myself that much
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
I dont think it does...the only thing is that i feel slightly calmer afterwards sometimes, or am able to think straight again.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I want to be rescued
I want to somehow atone for my sins
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off (in a way, although wouldnt quite count it as abuse)
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories (sometimes)
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Go for a walk
2. Write/draw....put down emotions on paper.
3. Try to get involved with people/activities and ignore it
4. Tell someone how i am feeling
5. Play a game
6. Try to watch or listen to something that is funny
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone (but thats only if they dont find out)
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
There are 6 stages of recovering from a harming problem
I have no idea where i am, somewhere between 2 and 6 i think. I know i need to change and i am working on it and trying to overcome it....i'm not sure if i am thinking positive things about myself or telling them to myself though
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cutting, burning, overdosing, briusing.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
They give me a sense of being real, having control and calmness.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
It gives me reassurance that I can hurt myself more than anyone else can.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
Pain releases endorphins which can help me calm down.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It gives me revenge in a sense that I'm the only one allowed to control myself, not any one else, because I can't cope with that.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
It punishes me in a way for all the bad things I've caused in life.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
October 2005, I started after a stressful day at school - it started as out first as an accident, as soon as the accident happened I felt calm, as endorphins had been released so I just kept on injuring myself to maintain that feeling.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It gives me comfort because there's no one else there to comfort me, it takes care of me, it's almost like a parent. I feel cared for and loved by it.
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I believe my body is a battleground
I am trying to express my pain
I am retaliating against myself for telling secrets
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Listen to music
2. Write
3. RYL
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
It keeps people away
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment.
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cut and drug abuse/OD
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
I get high to the point I don't remember where I am, much less what's bothering me
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
I control when I have emotions
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
It doesn't make me feel better, I just stop feeling.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It doesn't.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
The cuts remind me (with the sting) that I have problems I should fix.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
Cutting - 6 years ago, it was a spur of the moment thing that caught on. Drugs - 4 years ago, because I was offered it at the "right" moment.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It doesn't
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am retaliating against myself for telling secrets
I am doing what my abuser brainwashed me to do, if I told
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to get "high"
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Play on the computer (hunt/kill monsters until I feel better)
2. Hug my horse~
3. Clean my room/car!
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
No one knows about it anyways
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
It keeps people away
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
I'm in 3, Preparation.
I liked this, it made me stop and think about myself and why I do the things I do. Thanks for sharing it :)
Cover up with makeup in the mirror Tell yourself it's never going to happen again You cry alone and then he swears he loves you
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cutting, pulling my hair, hitting myself, hitting objects, banging my head, ODing, & ED behaviors.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
I feel better, I feel more in control, I feel I've successfully punished myself, I've calmed down the urges for at least a while.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
I don't really know... I just feel more in control of things when I'm doing it rather than not doing it.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
I don't know how to answer this question... it's a bit confusing.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
I don't really do it for revenge.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
It hurts me.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
I was about 7 when I first started, and I was very angry and I felt very out of control, and I started to hurt myself.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
The after math. I have to take care of my damage ie; clean up my wounds, bandage them, etc. Also others take care of me and comfort me. I crave this. I guess I feel like with my self harm, it makes me feel better, and at times, nobody else can do this for me, so it cares for me I guess. Or the people that can do this, aren't there to do it. So, I feel self harm helps me feel better.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I am asking for help
I want to be rescued
I believe my body is a battleground
I want to cleanse myself
I want to somehow atone for my sins
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to get "high"
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Talk to someone.
2. Watch a movie/show I like.
3. Role play.
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either(I used to believe this)
It's my body, I can do what I want with it(I on/off believe this)
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone(I on/off believe this)
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment(They are there for a reason, they do remind me of a lot, but not the shame one, the punishment one is true though)
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery?
3, 4, 5 & 6 are my next steps.
I've already done 1 & 2, but regarding 6, I have been recovering for quite a while, but I have had way too many slip ups, & I don't believe I can be considered in recovery, more in a relapse than recovery right now.
I'm so glad everyone likes this and that some of you have found it helpful, if my therapist gives me anymore of these worksheets i'll be happy to post them here so we can all benefit from it :D
I hurt myself before others get the chance...
I hurt myself because others hurt me and I can't stand the pain...
To tell the truth, I'm afraid of recovery beause it means I have to let go...
1. List the ways that you self-harm
Cutting, burning, hairpulling, bruising, restricting.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
They allow me to calm down, think and feel alive.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
Becasue i know what im doing to myself. I choose it and i can do as much/little as i need/like. They make me feel powerful & power is control...
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
Via pain.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
Serves me right to suffer.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
It hurts me, and the scars punish me too.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
I started just over a year ago. I'm not too sure why, but it soon got worse and more meaningful.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It makes me feel that i've done it and it (whatever it is) is over. It makes me feel like i've got something right - as in how i hurt myself.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I want to be rescued
I want to cleanse myself
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am retaliating against myself for telling secrets
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to get "high"
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Exercise vigourously.
2. Take a cold shower.
3. Draw/paint over my body.
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
I need to be punished for what I did It just shows how bad a person I am
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame
For my cutting etc, i think i am in 3. Action.
But for the 'ed' side definatly 1.
This topic was really interesting. Trying to answer these questions really made me think.
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cutting. Also alienating myself from others, if that counts.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
They don't help me survive. When I sometimes isolate me from others, and especially from human emotions, I sometimes need to feel again - even in the "wrong way". It has nothing to do with surviving, it has to do with touching some feelings... I could manage without, but it would be empty.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
It doesn't. I slipped some years ago, and let it control ME. That was a big mistake. This time I am in control, but that is not an important factor - I don't care about control.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
Again, this also has nothing to do with my self-harming. I don't do it to feel better, and it doesn't make me feel better.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
Revenge on what? I did not understand this question. I don't need revenge on myself.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
All of these questions seem to fail on me, really... I'm not looking for punishment, and I don't see this as punishment.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
I was 12, I think. I managed to stop for three years, before it gradually came back to me. Both times it started because I wanted to feel something - not just the darkness I carry on my back.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It really doesn't comfort me either. It makes me feel - and that's my goal with it. Whole my life I've been disgusted by human behaviour, and alienated myself from it - but that gets lonely and empty. So the self-harming makes me feel like "one of them", in a very strange way. It reminds me that I'm "just" human.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I hate myself
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I want to be rescued
I believe my body is a battleground
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to release emotional tension
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. I could interefere with humans, and allow myself to become one of them. But they repulse me, and I'm afraid I'd have to change a lot of my personality to get along - which I'm not interested in.
2. I write lyrics and draw/paint. Trying to establish a musical project for the "darker days" - so maybe I can release it there instead. Maybe.
3. I walk and sleep. If I start walking in the woods for some hours, or sleep for about the same time, it seems to calm down.
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It keeps people away
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
Stage 6, I think. At least I am in control. Like I said, I had worse times some years ago, but it's gradually coming back. I hope to stay in control this time.
"You monkeys grinning behind your bars — I’m more at home with the winds and the stars."-A.C.
This really made me think...why is it I do what I do? It was a good exercise. I may even bring a copy with my answers to my next therapy appointment.
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic
Cutting, burning, bruising, restricting
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
They help me to cope with daily stressors; they help me make it through the times when my symptoms are severe and I feel out of control. They help me make it through emotional crisis.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?[/font]
I am in control of how much pain I inflict on myself. I am in control of what kind of pain I will inflict.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
It helps to calm me down after a distressing event which makes me feel better. It also helps by giving me a sense of peace knowing that I did something to ease my emotional state, making me feel better.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It helps me to express the hatred and rage I feel towards myself. I get to “take out my own revenge” by causing myself pain.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
It punishes me by keeping myself in check. Knowing that I can punish myself because I deserve the pain. I deserve to be treated like crap. I deserve punishment so I get punishment.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
I started this behavior when I was about 8 or 9 years old and it gradually got worse as the years went on. I started because I was being abused at home and when my dad got sick with cancer and was no longer able to hurt me anymore, I felt I still deserved that punishment so I started hurting myself.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It comforts me to know that I have a way to make myself feel better in an instant if I need it. It comforts me to know that it has been there for me through a lot of hardship when nothing or no one else was.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I believe my body is a battleground
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Journal or some other form of creative writing
2. Exercise of some sort; the more intense the exercise the better
3. Listen to music
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
It keeps people away
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
I think that I am on stage three. I am working on finding other coping mechanisms that help me, I am working in therapy to decrease my self harm behaviors, but I am not quite at a stage where I am sure I want to give it up. I am preparing myself to give it up.
Last edited by Pennacious : 18-03-2010 at 09:09 PM.
Reason: I forgot to answer one of the questions in the questionaire
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. ~ Girl Interrupted
I hurt myself before others get the chance...
I hurt myself because others hurt me and I can't stand the pain...
To tell the truth, I'm afraid of recovery because it means I have to let go...
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cutting, biting nails/skin around nails, scratching, hitting
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
As a distraction from my life and as a punishment and release of stress/tension
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
Because of how routine it is, I know exactly what to expect and because no one else knows about it they can't control it.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
I have no idea
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It only gives revenge on myself through punishing myself
6. How does this behavior punish me?
Because hurts me physically and other peoples reactions when they see them hurts me emotionally, I feel that I deserve to be looked down upon
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
When I was 11, I don't remember the exact reasons
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
In a really weird, twisted way, it reminds me of being a kid. It's like my security blanket, it's the only thing I'm sure of
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I am asking for help
I want to be rescued
I believe my body is a battleground
I want to cleanse myself
I want to somehow atone for my sins
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Go to sleep
2. Talk on msn
3. Phone a friend
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
It keeps people away
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
I think I'm Stage 2. I know I need to make changes in my life but I don't feel ready or strong enough yet.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive? - control, release and calm
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control? I'm not sure, it just helps me get control of my feelings back.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better? umm.. i think maybe cause when you bleed endorphins are released to help stop the pain and heal the cut?
5. How does this behavior give me revenge? i've never thought of what i do in terms of revenge, more of self hatred.
6. How does this behavior punish me? hurts me afterwards, cuts make me feel better cause i know at least if i have hurt myself i am getting what i deserve.
7. When and why did you start this behavior? a few months ago, i didnt mean to but it just happened because i just couldnt cope anymore.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies) because i know that at the end of it all, i always have a way to feel better when nothing else can help and i am hurting so much.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I am asking for help
I want to be rescued
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. shower
2. listen to music and read
3. cry and sleep
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
It's my body, I can do what I want with it (sometimes believe this)
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone (i sometimes believe this)
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
No one knows about it anyways
I need to be punished for what I did (sometimes)
It just shows how bad a person I am (and sometimes)
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
I reckon about stage 2 maybe 3? Well cause i know what i'm doing needs to change and i recognise i need to change my whole thought process and think good stuff. but thats about it, i am meant currently to be thinking the + stuff, but yeah..
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
1. List the ways that you self-harm - Cutting, burning occasionally.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive? - they make the non-physical, physical, and this makes things slightly easier to deal with. It also kills any obsessive image I have in my head for a while.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control? If I can go deep it makes me feel like I can do anything.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better? The brain releases endorphins when we feel pain in order to make us feel better.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge? It doesn't.
6. How does this behavior punish me? It hurts.
7. When and why did you start this behavior? 16 years old, I just wanted to destroy myself - had ED problemos.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? - If I have to get stitches, it allows me to drop my mask of "Im fine" and be cared for by nurses and doctors who's job it is to help, so Im not burdening them, and yet Im getting comforted by complete strangers. It feels good.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I am asking for help
I want to be rescued
I believe my body is a battleground
I am trying to express my pain
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Call a loved one
2. Anything creative
3. Call a professional
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cutting, breaking bones, ODs.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
Distraction from suicidal thoughts.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
Makes me feel I am destroying myself.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
It doesn't, that's the problem.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It doesn't.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
It doesn't.It feels more like a reward.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
I was about 7 when I started breaking my bones, I had no idea why.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It doesn't.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I believe my body is a battleground
I want to cleanse myself
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1.Mindfulness
2.Write
3.Talk to someone about how I feel.
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
Lastly, before I type this big long list of things that my therapist suggests for distraction techniques, stop copying here 
