Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - lost me bf when i told him i was raped

[broken and defeated]

hi im Amy

ok well me and my bf just hit 2months together the other day which was a big thing for me as its the longest ive even been with someone but last week on thursday i was raped its the 2nd time ive been raped in 2 yrs. the day it happened i couldt tell him what happened i was so scared i emailed him last night and it was the wrost thing ive done ever as he broke up with me not just because of that but because he needs to get his head worked out as well and there r things that happened before i came into his life.

but idk what today any more i loved him so much i dont want to loose him but i guess i have i have nothing left anymore.

new **** happens to me every week
ive lost the one person i loved and it hurts so much ive not felt so down and numb ever.

i want him bk i havent spoted crying since i woke up and he told me that was 6hrs ago idk what to do some r saying for get him others say give him time and space

has anyone else got any idea?

*hugs* that's an absolutely horrid situation to be in. I don't know the entire story on his side of why he's breaking up, but I can totally see why it'd be a huge blow to tell someone something so painful and have them break up with you right afterwards! I'm sure it feels like telling him about the rape caused it, even if it didn't. All I can say is try and figure out what's best for you. Did you guys have problems before this happened? Or is this just out of the blue? If he broke up with you solely cause of the rape, he is not worth it AT ALL. but if there's other stuff going on then maybe time is necessary. I'm so sorry this happened. I can't imagine how painful this must be. Are you getting counseling for both the rape and the breakup, cause both must be extremely painful.

[broken and defeated]

this was out of the blue ive not fought with him once in 2 months. and no im not getting councelling i wont i hhate them i feel worse then i did when i started most times

[Stellata]

It's possible that he's vulnerable deep down too [hence needing to 'sort his head out'] and cannot bear the traumas that you've been through. Just that he can't communicate this to you, and ends up pushing you away. This is doubly painful for you, though, and is an abandonment of you when you need safe closeness the most.

I'm so sorry this happened. I'd try to get at what his reasons are. If he's prejudiced to you being raped and thinks it was somehow your fault, he is NOT worth it at all. But if it's because it's bothering him and reminding him of past issues then it might be worth giving him time.

[lynx]

Not every man can handle news like that. Did he say he wanted to keep in touch? If so, then you should indeed give him some time and space and eventually he'll get back to you. Are you getting help in processing what happened?

[~*Dare to Dream*~]

I know when "it" Happened to me before christmas when I initially told my boyfriend he was upset, angry, so many other things that he couldnt describe. It was like his prize rose had been torn and trampled all over tarnished forever. He also knew about the CSA, its a long distance relationship and he stayed with me. When I saw him over new year i broke up with him in my sleep and so on - which I still don't know what I said, but when I explained in the morning he understood. We had a mutal break up last week but Im not sure it was the right thing to do.

Im sure if you give him sometime to get around the whole situation he may be able to understand better, if he truely loves you it shouldn't matter. If he doesn't want to know you anymore then you shouldnt be upset as it really is his loss. If you want to chat just PM me.

Sorry if this doesnt help as my minds not in a great place.

[broken and defeated]

well i saw him this afternoon and spent 3 hrs with a constant stream of tears running down my face and then when i left he sent a txt to a mate saying take good care of her but my mate had none of it and told him he needed to lay his card on the table and let me help idk if it has helped i havent heard from him im just hopeing it works cause i cant spend another hr crying never mind if he broke up with me.

oh and his resons behind it is cause for the past 5 yrs hes had everything bottled up in side the divorce of his mum and dad and the death of his gf from when he was 15 and he just didnt want to hurt my resopons was he wont hurt me i now he wont but im not out of the woods yet just in a little tiny clearing