Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Question regarding adult SH treatment..

Becca · 08-03-2010, 10:34 PM

I should probably qualify what I mean by 'Adult' here. Over 21, having worked, and not been a user of MH services before being over 21.

Anyway, I've discovered that due to my age (30s) and having worked(!) and not been in contact with MH services prior to being an adult I am being treated very differently. I saw a gp today who said it is because of these reasons as CMHT believe by treating me any other way they encourage me to SH more (as SH = Borderline which is relevent somehow) and something about SH = don't want to be adult (noo idea how that works!).

I'm not allowed any preventative treatment. I can only access crisis care *after* a serious SH incident or suicide attempt. I cannot be admitted under any psychological circumstances (admissions have to be for physical reasons only) because I will then SH/attempt suicide to be admitted again.

The last time I was admitted I was so terrified I attempted suicide whilst there. There is no way I would go back there. Ever. Not even to visit anyone.

It is not going to happen.

And I have been this clear to them. Becca being admitted just ain't gonna fly folks. Ever.

And if Becca asks to be admitted she has 'left the building' so to speak and there is something really serious going on.

I'm really confused by this to be honest. If I get referred to them (having met the above 'criteria') I am accused of manipulating them into speaking to me. If I attempt to get help without having met the 'criteria' I am attention seeking.

I feel that having access *before* things escalate would be better. More helpful - help prevent the problems occuring (well at least possibly prevent). My situation is, well confusing at best and to be honest, I now feel like regardless of what I do I am going to be labelled as being manipulative and I feel I am actually being manipulated into SH to obtain support (which would never work as A&E now refuse to contact them because of them making things so much worse for me).

Example, a friend of mine commited suicide a couple of weeks ago, I posted here about it at the time, and I am on various levels struggling with that. I have asked for support and recieved it to begin with. However, my cpn then became very unreliable. Cancelling and rearranging my appointments with very little notice. My SH has been a lot worse recently - the reason according to CMHT is my cpn and I am SH'ing to make her feel guilty. It isn't allowed to be anything else. I must be SH'ing more because my cpn is cancelling my appointments. But that isn't the case.

Does anyone else find this? I really don't understand it at all. It makes no sense to me. Or for that matter to my GP (it's some kind of policy according to the drs she has spoken to - but it only applies to people in my situation - adult SH'ers).

ThinkingofRecovery · 08-03-2010, 10:54 PM

I don't understand why you can't have access to proper support prior to sh etc. Could you contact PALS as surely, contacting prior and getting support prior, may prevent you doing it.

btw, I wasn't in services until I was 24 and worked.

startingagain · 08-03-2010, 11:14 PM

I'd agree that you contact PALS or an advocacy service to support you.

Have you ever been assessed by a psychiatrist? It seems that a CPN and GP are making these decisions??

I was originally in services when I was at university. I was rereferred in my late 30s and am under the complex and longstanding (? or something like that) part. I get to see a clinical psychologist every week. Although I can't access a CPN I can contact a duty worker.

Becca · 08-03-2010, 11:16 PM

I have spoken to PALs - I complained about it, but they responded saying they have given me 'crisis support x times' and refuse to answer the actual question. The problem is they refuse to acknowledge this is what they are doing since the NICE guidelines came out. It's my gp who mentioned it. She said it is a common pattern for adult SH'ers here.

To be honest I had kind of guessed anyway. I know of someone else who has been accused of SH to obtain support (which is rubbish in their case as well)

Good you can see where I'm coming from. I mean I know stuff may still happen.

It's the whole being manipulative thing that bothers me, because it is something I get from them a lot, and it seems like I'm being manipulated not the other way around.

startingagain · 08-03-2010, 11:18 PM

What about an advocate instead?

Becca · 08-03-2010, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by startingagain

Have you ever been assessed by a psychiatrist? It seems that a CPN and GP are making these decisions??

At the last psych assessment he said I was borderline because I self harmed (this psych is very prejudiced against borderlines) and was telling lies to get into hospital to be 'cared for'. I had attempted suicide in hospital to 'hurt staff'.

Utter ****

When I have been assessed in hospital I get assessed by nurses only. Not doctors because I am not allowed to be admitted. I don't have a psychaitrist anymore for that reason and because the meds they gave me made me worse cos of severe side effects adn I refused to take them anymore.

EDIT: There are no advocates where I live (there were but it turned out they weren't qualified so had to stop offering the service)

startingagain · 08-03-2010, 11:26 PM

I have the label of BPD, but that doesn't stop me getting help and it shouldn't stop you getting help.

Did you discharge yourself from the psychiatrist? It may be worth asking to be referred back to a different one. I discharged myself because I got fed up of him just giving me medication, but I was lucky that I had previously had a locum who referred me to the psychologist.

Becca · 08-03-2010, 11:33 PM

I didn't discharge they did (I think- it's a bit onfusing). I couldn't cope with the side effects of the medications and they said I had medications and side effects or they wouldn't see me.

It could be because of the whole DBT thing Im refusing to do it (for reason I won't go into here).

startingagain · 08-03-2010, 11:43 PM

That's ok-I think you started a thread on it and if that's you then I remember and understand your reasons for that. If that's not you sorry.

I've never been offered DBT, so they must have something else they could try?

Sorry that there are no advocates nearby that can help. I'm pretty much out of suggestions, so all I can offer is hugs xx

Becca · 08-03-2010, 11:49 PM

It's me who did that thread. Twas a bit complex hence not going into it again here.

I was allowed support on a weekly basis but basically I'm not improving so it's being withdrawn and with the crisis support being as it is it's all very confusing for me.

To be hoenst I was expecting more people in a similar situation.

earthbound_misfit · 14-03-2010, 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by startingagain

I've never been offered DBT, so they must have something else they could try?

erm, no... sorry. BPD diagnosis is lucky to get ANYTHING, although it's changing. They seem to offer different treatment in different places and often none at all.
As an adult I was in contact with services (from age 19) for 3 yrs before I got to see a therapist - and then I was the first in the area for 'complex longstanding issues' (wasnt til I was referred that got assesed properly and didnt have BPD) this was despite having had contact on occasion before when a teenager and child for depression.
But you should have support ie a cpn to speak to when you need to...
And i'm pretty sure that you can ask, according to NHS guidelines, to see another psych.

With the bpd label you have to remember that the services are bullshit, and the treatment from staff is awful usually BUT YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT. Look up as much as you can about the law etc to do with treatment - I know what its like trying to complain and they just dont believe you. so maybe write to ur MP? see if MIND can help?... pm me if u want help writing/editing letters.
Im sorry its so awful for u it does sound particularly bad, dont start to believe their lies! bpd and similar probs mean ur just desperately trying to deal with the world the best way you know how, and need help to find new ways. Ppl often perceive the behavoir as manipulative (because people love labels that means they can blame someone else and cut off contact, rather than question their own reaction) but it is not intentional; you are just trying to cope.
Good luck...... x

startingagain · 14-03-2010, 05:12 PM

Earthbound misfit-Just to clarify the reason I suggested that they may have some other support is because I see a clinical psychologist for treatment. Maybe I'm just lucky to get that, but there can be other support available.

earthbound_misfit · 15-03-2010, 12:43 AM

I meant there probably isnt an option - though there should be