I am such bad person!!!!

[Smophy]

Some may of seen my earlier thread about leaving my bf. Well I tried and failed.

I decided to stay with him....for now. But i want to be with my ex.

I got reconnected with my ex the other week after four yrs of no contact.

We talk online most nights now.Went on web cam to each other. I even went for a drive with him friday night and he rings me some nights.

My bf knows none of this. He hates him. I can't stop thinking about him tho. I spent today with my bf and all the time i was thinking of my ex.

I know he only wants one thing And i will do it. I know i will even tho it is so morally wrong.

I am such a bad person. I actually want to cheat on my bf. I want best of both worlds and I will get it.

Im obsessed now and I wont stop till I have ruined everything.

Why the hell am i doing this??!! I hate my mind...I hate me!

[popsicle]

You're not a bad person. Lots of people want things when they know what they want is wrong. In the end though, this is only going to work for so long- you're going to have to pick either one or neither. I think it's possible you could have your boyfriend and remain friends with your ex though, or vice versa depending on the situation.
I missed your other thread. Why would you rather be with your ex?
Also, what do you mean by this bit:
"I know he only wants one thing And i will do it. I know i will even tho it is so morally wrong."
If you don't want to say then that's fine, but if your ex only wants one thing, and it isn't your personality, stick with what you've got.

do you know what's behind these feelings of not being able to control it? it sounds like both you and your current bf will get very hurt over this. is there a separate reason you want to leave your current bf, or is it just the obsession with the ex? it really sounds like the ex isn't good for you. is there anybody you can talk to about why you feel you can't stop yourself even though you know it's not a good idea?