Basically, I've been self harming for a while. I think I'm addicted to it, I hate it. I really do. But when I do self harm, I feel a release, y'know?
Anyway, I can't cope with it. It's really ruining my life. I can't go outside because I'm scared people will see my scars. I can't wear anything short sleeved. It stops me doing Physical Education at school. It makes me feel worse than I did before. I really, honestly, hate it.
I've had therapy,
I've just started seeing a doctor.
The therapy doesn't help, at all.
I'm kind of, in a way, hoping you guys would be able to help me? I found you via google, and I thought you might be able to help me through it? I don't know.
welcome to ryl. i hope you can find some support here. maybe give the therapy a bit more time. i don't know what type of therapy you are having, but it takes time and you have to invest a lot in it to get any benefits (scary!).
after awhile, if it still isn't helping, maybe you need to try someone else. you need to find someone you can talk to, who can help you. i've been through a bunch of counselors and some of them are just awful. but when you find the right one for you, it will help.
glad you found ryl. if you need anything, just ask!
@RadioActiveCheezPuff - Hehe, *hugs back*
@stella - Mmm, I've been seeing the counsellor since the beginning of year 11, it's now near the end of year 11. It doesn't seem like it's helped, at all. The doctor hasn't done much, he sucks. >.<
i would probably try someone new. is the doctor a GP? if he is, it may be worth seeing a different one, at the same practice or a new one. a new GP might be better equipped to help you find a better counselor for you too. while it is good to have support, some professionals don't help much. i know how hard it is to see someone new, go through all that again...i thought all counselors/doctors were all the same (CRAP!) until i found the right ones for me.
(as a personal aside, i lost them because i moved away, and am now at the awful stage of trying to start out again too...but we can do it)
Mm, he is a GP. I only started seeing him like 4 or 5 weeks ago, and I've seen him twice. He wants to do a blood test. I might look for a new counsellor, not sure. I'm kind of skeptical.
A big part of you hates self harm, and it is possible for that part to win. It is possible to stop eventually. It's hard, because cutting is a coping strategy. It does give you a "release" and it temporarily makes you feel better. But in the long run it does more harm than good.
I agree with Stella, can you see someone else? Maybe a different therapist or doctor would be more helpful to you.
Also do you know why you cut? Are you feeling depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, alone, stressed, something else? Normally it is more effective to work on the underlying problems that lead to SI than on SI itself. Because if you take away your coping strategy without fixing what you have to cope with things will be incredibly difficult.
I don't know anyone I could see, and I feel a variation of moods. Predominantly depression, feeling alone coincides. I sometimes feel anxious and that's probably it...
Could you ask your GP for a referral to see someone else? I'm assuming your from the UK, and health care is very different there than it is here in the US, so I can't tell you exactly how it would work. Hopefully someone who knows more than I do can help ...
Have you ever had a psychiatric evaluation? It's really not as scary as it sounds, just a psychiatrist asking a bunch of questions to try and figure out what is going on. After that it might be easier to know what to do in terms of therapy or medication if you want to try that.
I've had my therapist refer me to a place called Orchard House... They specialize in this sort of stuff. They wern't able to help, so I don't see how asking a GP for a referral would be any different.
Feel free to chat anytime you need. I'm sure everyone will help and support you if they can.
I think the blood test is just routine and to check for any underlying conditions that could be causing this, and to check everythings ok before they put you on any medication. I had to have one too, so try not to worry about that too much (.....although i hate needles....)
I'm aorry that counselling isnt helping. Maybe if you get put on antidepressants to treat the depression and anxeity it will start to become easier.
If a big part of you hates this and wants to stop then you can fight :)
Its not easy i know....and may take a long time to get there, start to take it slowly and RYL can help as much as possible
Hey,
I'm sorry to hear you'r struggling to cope at the moment. *hugs*
Have long have you been having therapy for? Sometimes it can take a while before you see it can help.
Hope you feel better soon and I'm always here if you wanna talk. xo.
Thanks for your replies guys.
@NicolaRose - I'll wait to see what happens regarding my GP, thanks.
@Katiee - I've been having it for just under an academic year (september through july).
Hey, glad you've joined, I'm not the most vocal member here but just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you ever want to talk to somebody. RYL is really helped me, I'm sure it'll be beneficial to you in some way.
x
Where were you when my walls came falling down?
You tried to hide, you stood close by and didn't make a sound. Say something.
