i did it again
why?
to remember?
bad?
it'll mark
have i relapsed?
not yet
will i do it again?
watch this space.
what was the point of this post?
tell me ill be ok...
Oh Erin. *hugs*
It will be ok. Let this be a sign that things arent as ok as you keep makin out. Hun i seriously think you need to get some help. No one can go thru what you have without it. I know i go on and on and on about the same thing but its what i believe you need and im not shutting up about it.
Im sorry i havent been here for you today. I really am.
Matthew x
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
*hugs*
I think Matthew is right. (and i didnt really just say that)
Having someone you can talk this through with might help.
It defo cant make things worse. So its worth a try.
Take care hun.
i would have to start at square one. my counsellor counsels at the childrens hospital now
and it would have to be free, seeing as i cant hold down a job
and, i dunno, its like, i dont care, most of the time. the times im ok im convinced i dont need it
and the times im not, im convinced its how im meant to be.
im Grade A ****ed
Erin if i thought you were ****ed i would have told you by now. I dont believe that the counselling you received in the past was sufficient. I know you will disagree but im right :P
I care loads! I know you can come thru this. Yes a new counsellor. Yes a new start but i honestly think that is what is needed. Someone who is trained in Counselling grief and trauma!
*big hugs*
Matthew xxx
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
well she was crap then! Erin i could teach you more in one hour!
Sweetie there is help! There really is!
*licks you*
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
i should be able to do this by myself. i know myself better then anyone else, so why am i so lost?
fukkin lame.
Erin im sure most of us here feel the same too! Erin i spent so long trying to find out bout myself. Ive had so muchtherapy its untrue. Hours and hours and book after book. I thought i knew everything there was to know bout myself and my psyche.
Then i met my current counsellor. I had a different kind of approach and im finding things out bout myself and past i had locked away so deep it was almost impossible to find! Im also getting help on how to deal with it for the first time too!
Erin there are other ways! You aint meant to do this alone. If you were then there wouldnt be thersapists.
Erin when you were seeing the last therapist last year i kept saying to you that she wasnt any good for you. I felt you were running rings round her and that she wasnt challenging you enough. I know you said she was and that you made progress. well im sure you did to an extent but not the kind that you need.
Erin i may be a mad old pengy but i aint a stupid one when it comes to this! i know its hard and i know you are trying so hard too. You are doing amazingly too, but you need some help to get you over these hurdles. Then when you have the skills to cope you can go it alone.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
and, i dunno, its like, i dont care, most of the time. the times im ok im convinced i dont need it
and the times im not, im convinced its how im meant to be.
im Grade A ****ed
You sound like me last week.
But trust me, if your feeling like this, then you do need help. Its not something to be asheamed of and although its hard getting to know someone knew, it is worth it.
You dont want to have to keep living like this. Get it sorted out sooner rather than later.
Hopefully before you start your course, because otherwise you will keep putting it off and the extra strain may affect how you deal with the course.
heh, nah, im very good at seperating breaking apart from course performance.
last course i did, i was getting mucked up by AD that made me psycho, giving myself stitches, and still getting at least a credit average.
i dont have the money or the means to get help at the moment
what a sorry state, heh
