Triggering (SI/Suicide) - feel desperate, help please!!!

littlemermaid · 02-03-2010, 06:18 AM

I cant sleep. Im just taken over with worrries and intense feelings of wanting to die, and thus wanting to cut. not cutting as a way to die-just to numb the suicide thoughts.

i havnt been here in awhile. ive been working really hard this semester to get things more undercontrol to feel a little better. 3 months ago I started having suicidal thoughts, I never had before then. its reall scary. I know that as ofright now i wont act on these thoughts. i dont even want to be having these thoughts, but i cant help it. i dontneed to be in a hospital

im freaking out about leaving my therapist. i graduate in may and then I will be done with therapy with her. i have been seeing her for almost 3 years. i dont think i could have made it these last few years. we have already established a no contact rule after therapy ends. i dont know how i will handle that. of course i will get a new therapist, but how can i leave her? How can i go from the 5 hours a week of therapy i have no (individual, and DBT) to only once a week, with a strange therapist that i dont know? how will i deal with that? All the while starting life in a new city, with new people, in grad school?

i dont know if i can do it.

Zurg · 02-03-2010, 08:41 PM

For whatever it's worth i actually think you will be able to do it. I know it's hard, scary and it feels like an abandonment. But unfortunately the thing about being in the mental health system usually involves changing therapist once in a while.

A few years ago i went from one therapist to a new one. I used to have therapy once or twice a week and then went on to have therapy once a month. It was quite scary but it actually turned out to be ok.

Any change is scary when you're fragile. BUt not all change has to be bad. I can fully sympathise with you because i was very worried myself when it happened to me. BUt remember, if you find yourself in crisis, then just phone your new therapist. It's perfectly normal to go through times where you need more intensive help and i doubt your therapist would be annoyed if you called. Also, tell him/her about your concerns and let them help you to adjust. They will have heard it a hundred times before and they can reassure any worries you might have.

Try to think of it as you moving on to a new chapter of your life. We don't get anywhere if we always stay in the same old and maybe this new therapist will help you explore new ways and teach you new things about yourself.