Not sure where to start...

[Ghost Dude]

I've been putting off asking for help because i'm shy but I want to get better and need some advice.

My biggest problem is my social phobia for which i'm having CBT for at the moment but that needs me to go out and speak to people and i'm not sure how to do that, like where do i go? I know that sounds stupid but right now I pretty much avoid all social situations so have no idea.
So far I've done some small things like go to the shops hang about a bit then leave, make eye contact etc but really need something harder now.

[roses_for_the_dead]

well you could go to a concert, party, or go out clubbing etc, with friends? That would be a huge challenge if you wanted one, but you would stil have friends so you wouldnt feel so out of place. However that may be too big of a challenge, dont want to throw yourself out there and severly not like it and make you not want to go out, if you get me. I guess maybe if your friends are meeting people you dont know you could go, its social but not too big, and it would be easier for you to adjust yourself if you are with some people you know. But doing it totaly alone and it being a drastic change to what you normaly do could set you back a few steps, so do it slowly, its more likely to help in the long run (:

Good luck!

[Stellata]

The way I started was to talk to checkout people and such. This doesn't work when I'm in one of my very severe episodes, but it's a small step that feels safer. It's a step on from eye contact. Or something like having 2 friends over for coffee.

[makedamnsure]

Yeah stick to small things but take it up a notch. Do you speak to anyone at all? Like could you go to the cinema and ask for the ticket? If not try that. Or asking for help finding something in a shop (even if you know where it is) just to talk?
If you want a big challenge join a club.
My brother has social anxiety too and has just joined an anxiety group, ask your cbt people for their ideas.

[Zeitgeist]

Those are good suggestions so far! How about asking for advice in a book store? More potential talking material than, say, a supermarket.

Well done on tackling this problem. It must be hard, but remember, it's so worth it.

[Sigma]

how about looking in local papers for meetgings/clubs that sound interesting? like some bookstores have readings/special evenings or something about a local development that's planned? You have a ready made topic of discussion, but can leave whenever you want

[heretohelp22]

i am doing a cbt course on my social phobia, i just hate it cos i can't go out and enjoy myself, ill be starting small and working my way up and when im able to do it great. yeah, start small work your way up

[CherryDarling]

You could do stuff like asking a shop assistant for something, asking for directions in the street, something which would require a little bit more contact.

[Chibi-Tan]

I started talking to shop assistants on the check out, and as I left I always say "have a nice day" it makes them feel nice, as well as gives me a boost, and sometimes I end up talking about the things I'm buying. It sounds quite odd but when suffering from a phobia like this tackling it head on is the best way to go.

I couldn't even ask for a cinema ticket, and even now when I go out for a meal I'm still a little shy when asking for what I want, but telling other people "you ask for me, I daren't" starts to grind on your own self confidence.

My thoughts are with you, and congrats for making eye contact, that can sometimes be the hardest thing, keep going, I know how you feel!

Kaz

[Ghost Dude]

Thanks for the suggestions.