Triggering (Suicide) - (also triggering SI/OD) :(

[confused.com]

As my name suggests I feel totally confused and lost, I just really dont know how to get out of this mess. Ive been having counselling for two years and its not made a single difference. Ive been self harming since I was 13, Im now 18. I started burning myself when I was 13 and I was getting bullied at school then when i was 14 it moved on to cutting, and I used it to deal with anything that went wrong no matter how big or small it was/is. I just wish that there was a way out of this but every night when I lie there and think about it all I want to do is to go to sleep for a very long time and not to waken up and face this horrible world anymore.
I have taken several overdoses but I'm still here, i cant even seem to get that right. I know people around me care about me but I feel that the most important people in my life, the ones who are meant to care, wish I didnt exist. I lost my dad in 2007 and as for my mum well she has told me more than once that I was a mistake and she never wanted me in the first place. I have some amazing friends and I would hate to leave them, I just feel like I have no other option, that my life will end at some point anyway so why not hurry it along a few years?

Can anyone help?

[matt1904]

confused.com,

I haven't known u too long, but I know from when we have chatted that you have had a hard time of things for a fair few years. Your dad is always looking down on you, and wishing you happiness in your life, he wants you to be happy in whatever you do - even though without him, it will be a extremely difficult challenge.

You are an amazing person, you have helped me a lot in the short time we have talked with each other and hope we will stay friends for a long long time.

Stay strong hun, you are liked and loved by me and your other friends, the world will be a worse place without you. Keep fighting your mind.
Matt
xoxoxo

[xlaurenx]

Aww hun, am so sorry your going through such a tough time at the moment *Hugs*

But like mat said your dad will always be looking down on you, wishing you well. Yet he would not want you to join him right now, he would want you to enjoy your life before you saw him, I know you might think i arent emjoying life now so whats the point ? The point is things dont always have to be like this, things will get better.

I have known you for about 8 months yet it seems like i have known you all my life, you help me out so much and have saved me atleast once. Your so strong even though you cant see it . To keep going how you are not matter hoe much your struggling shows that your strong.

I love you soo much hun.
Keeo fighting , you can do this!
lauren xx