Triggering (SI) - I Messed Up

[CMlvr93]

I just cut. Much more than I have been doing lately and now I'm afraid of what my therapist will say when I see her on Thursday. I'm supposed to tell my dad every night if I cut that day or not and I really don't want to tell him because it was because of him so I probably won't. There's a possiblity that some of them will heal enough before Thursday so the nurses won't know they're new when they're counting my cuts, but I'm sure most of them won't. I've been doing good with only a couple cuts at a time and only cutting once or twice a week and now there's so many all at once....I want to cut again. Help???

[Cazki]

*Hugs* I hear you about having just harmed yourself. You say it was because of your dad that you harmed yourself, are you able to tell us what happened? I'm sure your therapist wont be angry with you she will understand if you tell her what it was that caused you to harm yourself and why you harmed yourself. Please dont beat yourself up.

You can get through this, beating yourself up will only make things worse. Please dont harm again. I know its hard but please keep yourself distracted as much as you can. What sorts of things do you try to help yourself when you have slipped up? Listening to music can be really good as can things such as doing jobs to keep yourself busy like tidying up. Stay strong and please look after your cuts. Keep talking to us im here for you.

Take care best wishes Ian

[CMlvr93]

He just kept complaining about money and how we can't do or get the things we want right now because he doesn't have the money for it. It was like he was blaming me for needing stuff and asking him to get me things. I just couldn't take it anymore.

I don't really think she'll be mad, but I don't want her to start thinking I might need to go to the hospital. I haven't had to go yet and I'd like to keep it that way. It scares me. I'll do good for a while and no one will say anything about me possibly needing to go there, but then I'll slip up again and they'll bring back it up.

I've been listening to music and trying to take my mind off it. I'll be going to my Grandma's soon and I'm hoping that will distract me enough.

Thank you for helping. It really means a lot to me to know there's people out there to talk to.