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Old 09-02-2010, 11:54 AM   #1
Doikers
Louder Than God's Revolver and Twice as Shiny
 
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Wales , UK
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Homesick

I've been in my new flat since October so 4ish months and I am still getting homesick to the point of almost panic sometimes . This is the first time I have lived away from my family and I go back there fairly often but then I just get more homesick when I come back to my flat . Does anyone here have any advice from when they moved out to live or to uni or anywhere , all advice will be much appreciated . I live alone so it's not like I have to run any ideas by a flatmate , oh and pets are strictly not allowed . I'm quite lonley here too , if thats relevant at all I dont know , I hope this is ok for the general folder :)



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 09-02-2010, 12:11 PM   #2
Ash*
 
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Photos! PHOTOS EVERYWHERE!
I like to make something to eat that reminds me of home - if that makes sense? I make stuff that me and my mum used to make together.
Phone home, or email home.

It's not really easy to just adjust to living alone. I've not lived at home since I left for university, and now I have a full time job I don't get to go home very much at all, but I try and see my family when I can. I'm lucky in that I don't live too far away (90 minutes by train) so I can just pop on the train for the night if I want to, and my family try and come and visit me every month or so for the day.

See if you can arrange something like that? If you normally go home, see if they can come to you?

I'm always a bit down when they've gone, but I just have to get on with it I'm afraid. once you're a bit more settled in your flat you'll feel better about it.

Maybe you could try and join a club or something, or find something to distract yourself? It's keeping your mind busy really that helps the most!




"Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."



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Old 09-02-2010, 02:31 PM   #3
jenaniah
 
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I understand. I moved 10 hours from my family 3.5 yrs ago and I still have moments of panic because I am so far away and homesick. One thing that has helped me is finding friends who are supportive & understanding but will also help to make sure I don't wallow in the homesickness too much. And also seeing a therapist, he has been invaluable.



Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to.

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Old 09-02-2010, 03:26 PM   #4
jellytot
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just make it homely ... cosy .. put pictures up .. have people over ..
invite family for meals .. maybe ask if you can have some furniture from the family home





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Old 11-02-2010, 06:05 AM   #5
Pierrot
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This may sound strange, but hear me out. My uncle gave me this advice when I moved out of my parents' house, and it did work. Establish the space as your own. Like others have suggested above, try hanging up photos of friends and family, or see if your folks have any furniture in storage that they'd let you use. Familiar things might help.

But then...take advantage of the space, and personalize it. A few suggestions: if you can get permission, repaint the place in colors you like. Take photos of your friends, or the area where you live, and hang them around; a friend of mine mats photos (cheaper than framing) and hangs them on his living room wall in collages. Whatever hobbies you have, make a place in the flat for them: a work station, a seat near a window for reading or studying, hanging hooks on the walls for art or instruments, shelves for books or items, a place for your sports equipment, whatever you like! Start inviting people over for game night, or study group, or drinks and popcorn, or anything.

The more memories you start to make in your new place, the more it will seem like yours. Even if (like me) you're pretty much broke, and can only make improvements slowly, the project itself is what will give you the feeling of the place being yours. For me, that sense of belonging helped the homesickness more than anything.

It might also help to learn the neighborhood where you've moved to. I've never been socially graceful enough to actually pluck up my guts and invite my neighbors over, but if you are, you might find that helpful. But even if all you do is take a stroll around the neighborhood every day, you'll figure out the normal flow of the people who live around you, and that familiarity will help, too. (Worked for me, anyway.)

I've gone on and on here, and I'm sorry for that, but I hope this helps some. :)



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Old 11-02-2010, 12:37 PM   #6
Doikers
Louder Than God's Revolver and Twice as Shiny
 
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Thankyou , Great advice everyone , Photos! So Obvious! and personalising the space even though I too am low on funds . I've been kinda scared of persomalising the flat because it's a 2 year tenancy and I didn't want to make too much mess as I'll have to move out in 2 years ( 20 months now ) but a few pictures can't hurt , I'll take some new ones in a week at my sisters wedding , the whole family will be there .



I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 11-02-2010, 06:57 PM   #7
Sefka
 
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For me, the first thing, first evening after I get back from my parents' place, is to cry. A lot. I don't know why, but if I can do that, I always feel better afterwards and settle in more quickly, whereas if I don't, I feel terrible for much longer.
Then, as Ash said, pictures everywhere.
I also try to set a routine for when I'll phone my parents and (when I was in UK) when I'd go and visit. Gives something to work towards/around.

Sorry you're so lonely. I know what that feels like. I hope you feel better in your new place soon.
Take care.
S
x




Каждому, каждому в лучшее верится,
Катится, катится голубой вагон!




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Old 23-03-2010, 01:06 PM   #8
PrincessSparkle
 
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Photos! The first time I went to college I dropped out after three weeks because a) I had no money and b) I was homesick... Now Im dying to get away from it all but yes it is hard. Phone calls!!Lots of them!Check out the cheapest rates and stuff so it wont cost you loads!

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