Triggering (SI) - Kind of rant, but I need some help...

[RadioActiveCheezPuff]

This is kinda a rant, but I just need some support. I feel stupid for posting this but...

My friends have apparently been tyring to plan a surprise party for me, but the first time I got sick and today I have to make dinner and eat it at the time they were planning. I don't have a ride to get there and can't be out as late as they were planning. I didn't know this, they said the mall. All for the surpirse. My boy friend has made a cake, twice. I feel like crap because I'm the party pooper to my own party! I've messed everything up, which doesn't surprise me, it feels like everything I touch is poisoned slowly...

To top it off I slipped up last night for no reason, I was completly calm and then BAM a whole boat load of new scars. I'd been good for a few days, maybe 5 I think?

Now I don't even know if I want to SI, it wont help... I've ruined everything... It's what I do, I ruin things...

[RadioActiveCheezPuff]

Also, this is the first time any one has ever wanted to throw a party for me, and the first party people would actually show up to for me...

[Defender Of The Faith]

It's not your fault you couldn't make it. I'm sure your friends understand that. As for slipping up, it happens to everyone. Please don't beat yourself up too much over it. Maybe next time, aim for a little longer. A week, maybe. :) I think you can do it.
Take care, I'm here if you need to talk
xx

[RadioActiveCheezPuff]

Thanks I'll try not to take it out on my self... we'll see how that goes :/

[Vanilla]

Don't worry hun :)
I can always make another cake.
I told you I joined, and it IS helpful,
It's alright though,
another party, another time :D

hugs and kisses!

[RadioActiveCheezPuff]

haha...

[-Pandora-]

It isn't your fault that you couldn't make it that night. And i'm sure that it isn't your fault things aren't going well for you. Everybody slips up and makes mistakes, so don't get yourself down about it.
STay strong, you can do it.
PM me whenever
xx