For the first time, I self harmed. Nearly two weeks ago,
But for some absurd reason, I am very tempted to do it again. I have done this method twice now and would much rather NOT SELF HARM. But I can't stop thinking about it. I'm scaring myself. I don't trust myself anywhere near where I burned myself
I'm not looking for any cure to my semi-depression/anger. But I would like some good advice on how to beat this horrible urge to burn myself.
Thank you. I'm grateful.
EDIT: Removed the method.
EDIT: I literally just have to hold my head in my hands and try to resist this. It's getting harder, but I still havent submitted to doing this again. If anyone can PM me some other "ideas" to self harm that arnt as brutal, i'd be happy. I appriciate that this is against the rules, I wont mention it again. The method i'm using is petty nasty, so I need something else to try.
Last edited by user56 : 02-02-2010 at 06:40 PM.
Reason: removed method.
can you please remove the method on how you burn yourself as it is against the rules xx
Im so sorry you are struggling somuch right now. Are you taking good care of your burns? Do you have any help and support, like a doctor and/or a therapist?
*hugs* i'm sorry you're feeling bad :(
there's pretty much all the standard things that people suggest you try, which is you haven't tried, might help. distractions basically. playing games, talking to people, getting out of the house/situation where you would self-harm, holding an ice cube really tight (which i've heard is quite good cos it hurts but doesn't actually do any damage), drawing on where you want to hurt with red pen (i've done this and it def works but then it might not be quite as effective as a replacement for burns)....
this might help too http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=64
hope some of this helps :)
take care and look after yourself :) xx
The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all
You obviously have some hurt/anger instead that burning helped you get rid of. Find a new "safe" way of getting rid of that. The sooner the better because the more you self harm the more addictive it becomes. Try hitting a pillow, drawing/scribbling on paper then ripping it up, putting on loud music and just screaming along. Get it out somehow!
You obviously have some hurt/anger instead that burning helped you get rid of. Find a new "safe" way of getting rid of that. The sooner the better because the more you self harm the more addictive it becomes. Try hitting a pillow, drawing/scribbling on paper then ripping it up, putting on loud music and just screaming along. Get it out somehow!
My mood fluctuates ALOT. One minute i'm very happy, the next minute i'm extremely sad, the next minute i'm confused.
I appriciate what your saying, but I just can't seem to be able to do anything about it. Some music helps, but only if i'm in a very good mood, but then an hour later i'm miserable again.
I do agree with the above, and I think it's about finding something that can work for you to release the emotions you are feeling in a safe way. Self harm (and particularly burning) is often used to release emotions, and the way to reduce the amount of times you hurt yourself - and consequently, the urges - is to find another way to get rid of the emotions.
The suggestions by makedamnsure are good, but there's plenty of other things. For anger I find physical things the best - exercise, walks, scribbling, etc. There's a heap of good suggestions here. Maybe making your own list of things that help you, have at least ten, and do some until the urges leave. Then if they reappear an hour later... try some more. Eventually the cycle will be broken.
(Oh, dealing with the cause of anger is good too, like discussing it in therapy or ranting about it in the ranting & venting forum, trying to overcome it, etc if possible. Removing it in the first place is also a handy idea, but not as easy as learning different ways of dealing with anger.)
is there anyone you can tell? i've found burning to be EXTREMELY addictive lately for me. I don't know why but it seems a pretty addictive form of self harm. I'm kind of a hypocrite telling you to stop, but I do hope you find another way to cope. I think telling a friend or counselor could help.
I'm sorry you're feeling so down, and I know I sound like the pot calling the kettle black, but its easier to stop now when you've just started, if you wait it just gets harder. I know personally I would give anything to never have started. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Maybe that can help. Can you find anything that makes you happy or even just tired like running or something? Sometimes if I get out all of my angry or nervous energy it helps. When I was working I virtually stopped because I was so exhausted all the time (and I was almost never home so any opportunities were removed)- maybe going for a run and getting away from the house? Maybe drawing or something to redirect your attention and distract yourself? I hope you feel better. :)
I'm sorry you're feeling so down, and I know I sound like the pot calling the kettle black, but its easier to stop now when you've just started, if you wait it just gets harder. I know personally I would give anything to never have started. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Maybe that can help. Can you find anything that makes you happy or even just tired like running or something? Sometimes if I get out all of my angry or nervous energy it helps. When I was working I virtually stopped because I was so exhausted all the time (and I was almost never home so any opportunities were removed)- maybe going for a run and getting away from the house? Maybe drawing or something to redirect your attention and distract yourself? I hope you feel better. :)
I burned for a bit so I know where your comming from. The problem with burning is that its SO adictive compared to every other form of self harm that I can think of.
I think that like a few people have said your anger could be the source. I have found that doing things such as punching my bed or a pillow, riping up paper (I know is sounds strange but how many times can you rip a sheet of paper in half?), listenng to punk/hardcore music, venting in my journal, and yelling into my pillow all are ways that you can get that feeling out with out causing yourself or other people harm.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
It can be useful to remember that however horrible the impulse to burn might be, it can't harm you in itself and it will always abate in a while.
The more you practice resisting it, the easier it will eventually become.
Best of luck.
XXX
Thanks. I've started to scratch myself instead now. It works better actually because instead of the horrible thoughts at night, I get the horrible pain. A good substitute, and I think it's a bit too early to think about quiting, i've only just started.
but the longer you wait to quit the harder it will be. i've been self harming for 5 years and i still can't quit. it seems like it's ok at first but it becomes everything to you and it makes things so much worse. it feels like it helps the pain, but after a while you start getting scars as the SI gets worse and then people notice. I can't wear a bathing suit without people seeing my scars now. I just have to accept that they might judge me. So while I've gotten through it, it would've been better not to start in the first place. It makes you feel so alone in the end as there's so many people who don't get SI. Is there anyone you could talk to in real life about it?
but the longer you wait to quit the harder it will be. i've been self harming for 5 years and i still can't quit. it seems like it's ok at first but it becomes everything to you and it makes things so much worse. it feels like it helps the pain, but after a while you start getting scars as the SI gets worse and then people notice. I can't wear a bathing suit without people seeing my scars now. I just have to accept that they might judge me. So while I've gotten through it, it would've been better not to start in the first place. It makes you feel so alone in the end as there's so many people who don't get SI. Is there anyone you could talk to in real life about it?
First off I really respect you, how you can cope with far worse problems than I have. Thanks.
And no, theres nobody I can talk to about it. (as cliche as it sounds) I dont have any friends, i'm not going to talk to my mother about it either. I know that it will get harder and harder to stop, I appriciate that. But it's just so hard to deal with getting happy/sad happy/sad ALL THE TIME.
*hugs* I don't think my problems are any worse or not worse, we all have issues and it's really hard to cope. I understand how hard it is to cope with mood swings and why it's so tempting to self harm. Ultimately it's up to you, but if when you are ready do try and seek help.
are you old enough to go to a counselor without your mother knowing? they can be great to talk to about how to cope with bad feelings and how to do other stuff but self harm. i know what you mean about not having any friends to go to. Isolation can make the whole SI thing much more attractive yet much more painful at the same time.
Maybe since you're not ready to quit you could write out all the possible things that could happen if you let your self harm go too far, so you're reminded not to self harm to a dangerous extent. Try to always keep it in perspective that things can get better and you don't want to seriously damage your body and regret it later. I know there was a time when I wanted scars, and in fact there are still days when I weirdly still do. But then there may be times where you begin to feel better and then want to get close to people but your scars make you feel so alienated and different. and there are times when you feel like not thinking about the SI anymore but you're forced to cause you have the physical evidence of it.
I know people shouldn't judge but the harsh reality is that they do so it's best not to harm your body to the extent that it will make you feeling judged in the future. sorry for the rant, just wish I had realized some of this back when I started. so just know it won't always be like this so try to protect yourself from the results of your depression/anger as much as possible.
This is the warning label for cutting [link] while it isn't burning the same though and patterns do come through.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
I'm 16, so I suppose I could get something arranged, but it would be near impossible because the only time I ever leave the house is when I need to go to school. (which is only 50% of the time). Again this sounds terribly cliche and i'm sorry, but sometimes when I wander off into my thoughts at night, I think about talking to someone about my problems. I talk to myself all the time without even noticing it, when I get in a good mood, I have long conversations with myself in the mirror, pretending i'm somebody else (if that even makes sense). Back to the point, at the time i'm thinking about it it seems like a good idea, but in the REAL WORLD, i'd just hit hard when I find out I havent got a problem, it's just a teenage thing.
It's probably something i'll look into further in a few years time, but right now I couldnt do it. Again thanks for the support, it's amazing that people care.
I don't think they'd see it as you don't have a problem. You're obviously distressed for probably various reasons and even if that only lasts for your teenage years a good counselor would understand that it's not any less valid just because you're a teenager. But it's good you're open to counseling, even if it is in the future. In the meantime we are here for you to talk whenever you need to. You can feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk as well.
I don't think they'd see it as you don't have a problem. You're obviously distressed for probably various reasons and even if that only lasts for your teenage years a good counselor would understand that it's not any less valid just because you're a teenager. But it's good you're open to counseling, even if it is in the future. In the meantime we are here for you to talk whenever you need to. You can feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk as well.
